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  • Submitted by Glazed on Aug 17, 10 at 11:31am

    That's stupid, you'd be terribly inaccurate on the move.

    • 63 73
      Submitted by ohgoodnessme on Aug 17, 10 at 9:50pm

      And think of all the bras you'd ruin.

  • 98 68
    Submitted by parsons41286 on Aug 17, 10 at 11:22am

    Mammary-cannons!

  • 91 71
    Submitted by MandatoryPants on Aug 17, 10 at 1:51pm

    Pew pew! You'd surprise the hell out of your dates that's for sure.

  • 86 75
    Submitted by Trollinn on Aug 17, 10 at 11:52am

    X-men

  • 81 73
    Submitted by stevebauer on Aug 17, 10 at 11:59am

    I would have the power to read the minds of TFLN moderators... "All texts are funny, NO EXCEPTIONS!"

  • 84 86
    Submitted by TheRuleBook on Aug 17, 10 at 2:31pm

    I would have the power to change rules and laws. Everyone would have to follow my ridiculous rules too...

  • 79 80
    Submitted by awdxcf on Aug 17, 10 at 4:51pm

    To Trollin, Xmen is plural, Xman is singular.

  • 78 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 10 at 11:03am

    i would be firsty in everyyyy text

  • 86 95
    Submitted by 310/951/805 on Aug 17, 10 at 12:32pm

    Laser Tits. Best website ever. Way to be original.

  • 76 76
    Submitted by delhi14 on Aug 17, 10 at 2:12pm

    @MonstrousMeagan, Why Do You Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word Like This?

  • 80 84
    Submitted by collegekid1 on Aug 17, 10 at 1:31pm

    will you marry me?

  • 74 84
    Submitted by MonstrousMeagan on Aug 17, 10 at 12:24pm

    Katy Perry Beat You To That With Her Whipped Cream.

  • 69 81
    Submitted by cowjitsu on Aug 18, 10 at 1:28pm

    Professer x mind control hell yeah ;~)

  • 72 87
    Submitted by ProductPlacemnt on Aug 17, 10 at 11:46am

    I would have 10 cocks.

  • 60 64
    Submitted by GUESS_WHAT on Aug 19, 10 at 11:56pm

    Shoop Da Whoop!

  • 64 74
    Submitted by stig on Aug 18, 10 at 3:06am

    LASERTITS

  • 58 68
    Submitted by fuckme on Aug 17, 10 at 3:55pm

    You r quite literally my dream woman

  • 56 66
    Submitted by ttesroD on Oct 21, 10 at 4:09am

    Nothing would frighten me more than a guy shooting lasers out of his man boobs. Except Martha Stewart.

  • 70 97
    Submitted by toast10 on Aug 20, 10 at 9:26pm

    it's like the fanbots in austin powers

  • 62 84
    Submitted by 2144571774 on Aug 17, 10 at 8:39pm

    I'd be the guy getting LASIK from your tits

  • 61 87
    Submitted by dmills07 on Aug 17, 10 at 2:11pm

    Dane Cook...?

  • 56 81
    Submitted by HookerPunch on Aug 18, 10 at 1:32am

    So when someone arouses you, you thank them by killing them? That's just a dick move!

  • 24 40
    Submitted by lissyb12 on Oct 22, 11 at 4:21am

    Sounds like Dane Cook's laser cock? GTFO.