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  • 92 44
    Submitted by Glazed on Aug 17, 10 at 11:31am
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    That's stupid, you'd be terribly inaccurate on the move.

    • 50 54
      Submitted by ohgoodnessme on Aug 17, 10 at 9:50pm
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      And think of all the bras you'd ruin.

  • 82 52
    Submitted by parsons41286 on Aug 17, 10 at 11:22am
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    Mammary-cannons!

  • 70 53
    Submitted by MandatoryPants on Aug 17, 10 at 1:51pm
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    Pew pew! You'd surprise the hell out of your dates that's for sure.

  • 69 54
    Submitted by stevebauer on Aug 17, 10 at 11:59am
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    I would have the power to read the minds of TFLN moderators... "All texts are funny, NO EXCEPTIONS!"

  • 70 57
    Submitted by Trollinn on Aug 17, 10 at 11:52am
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    X-men

  • 64 51
    Submitted by delhi14 on Aug 17, 10 at 2:12pm
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    @MonstrousMeagan, Why Do You Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word Like This?

  • 66 66
    Submitted by TheRuleBook on Aug 17, 10 at 2:31pm
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    I would have the power to change rules and laws. Everyone would have to follow my ridiculous rules too...

  • 69 73
    Submitted by 310/951/805 on Aug 17, 10 at 12:32pm
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    Laser Tits. Best website ever. Way to be original.

  • 63 64
    Submitted by collegekid1 on Aug 17, 10 at 1:31pm
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    will you marry me?

  • 59 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 10 at 11:03am
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    i would be firsty in everyyyy text

  • 59 65
    Submitted by MonstrousMeagan on Aug 17, 10 at 12:24pm
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    Katy Perry Beat You To That With Her Whipped Cream.

  • 57 64
    Submitted by awdxcf on Aug 17, 10 at 4:51pm
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    To Trollin, Xmen is plural, Xman is singular.

  • 48 47
    Submitted by GUESS_WHAT on Aug 19, 10 at 11:56pm
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    Shoop Da Whoop!

  • 54 60
    Submitted by ProductPlacemnt on Aug 17, 10 at 11:46am
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    I would have 10 cocks.

  • 47 52
    Submitted by stig on Aug 18, 10 at 3:06am
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    LASERTITS

  • 48 60
    Submitted by cowjitsu on Aug 18, 10 at 1:28pm
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    Professer x mind control hell yeah ;~)

  • 41 51
    Submitted by fuckme on Aug 17, 10 at 3:55pm
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    You r quite literally my dream woman

  • 51 75
    Submitted by toast10 on Aug 20, 10 at 9:26pm
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    it's like the fanbots in austin powers

  • 42 60
    Submitted by 2144571774 on Aug 17, 10 at 8:39pm
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    I'd be the guy getting LASIK from your tits

  • 45 66
    Submitted by dmills07 on Aug 17, 10 at 2:11pm
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    Dane Cook...?

  • 36 50
    Submitted by ttesroD on Oct 21, 10 at 4:09am
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    Nothing would frighten me more than a guy shooting lasers out of his man boobs. Except Martha Stewart.

  • 40 61
    Submitted by HookerPunch on Aug 18, 10 at 1:32am
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    So when someone arouses you, you thank them by killing them? That's just a dick move!

  • 11 22
    Submitted by lissyb12 on Oct 22, 11 at 4:21am
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    Sounds like Dane Cook's laser cock? GTFO.