Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (717)

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.

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  (717): By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting. http://tfl.nu/zbal
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.

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  (717): On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities. (240): Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing. http://tfl.nu/nf7v
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over

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  (717): if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over http://tfl.nu/5a4u
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  No more weed for you

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  (978): We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal (717): No more weed for you http://tfl.nu/rrjq
  Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (102)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.

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  (717): Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward. http://tfl.nu/kv4q
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night

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  (717): i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night http://tfl.nu/ncnb
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This drive is very scenic

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And I'm chugging whiskey in the back

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As you should, soak in all this country has to offer

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  (717): This drive is very scenic (717): And I'm chugging whiskey in the back (610): As you should, soak in all this country has to offer http://tfl.nu/nm28
  Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (414)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"

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  (717): This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick" http://tfl.nu/axax
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.

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  (717): For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point. http://tfl.nu/kshm
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.

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  (717): I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop. http://tfl.nu/nm3k
  Replies (0) Good night (213) Bad night (396)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.

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  (717): Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards. http://tfl.nu/kyyg
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.

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  (717): You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you. http://tfl.nu/xdv6
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?

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  (717): Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic? http://tfl.nu/xm16
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie

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  (717): Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie http://tfl.nu/cc1l
  Replies (5) Good night (1173) Bad night (180) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear

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  (717): Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear http://tfl.nu/2cuy
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