Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (717)

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

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  So all in all, a good night.

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  (717): You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young. (1-717): So all in all, a good night. http://tfl.nu/c215
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  You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.

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  (717): You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/lypi
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  Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.

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  (717): Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English. http://tfl.nu/s5ju
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  Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.

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  (717): Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it. http://tfl.nu/5u1i
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  It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward

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  (717): It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward http://tfl.nu/5j4d
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  We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.

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  (717): We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes. http://tfl.nu/zq4p
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  He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement

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  (717): He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement http://tfl.nu/fn4j
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  Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.

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  (717): Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together. http://tfl.nu/4ceo
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  You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.

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  (717): You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good. http://tfl.nu/n7zo
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  What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?

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  (717): What time do you think you'll be heterosexual? http://tfl.nu/40xd
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  I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates

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  (717): I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates http://tfl.nu/o8si
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  do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?

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  (717): do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met? http://tfl.nu/fj36
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  And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.

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  (717): And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes. http://tfl.nu/hx7l
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  I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions

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  (717): I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions http://tfl.nu/aecl
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  Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.

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  (717): Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet. http://tfl.nu/jos6
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