Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (717)

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  How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?

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  (717): How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling? http://tfl.nu/pzfw
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  That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy

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  (717): That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy http://tfl.nu/ttbi
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  my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping

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  (717): my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping http://tfl.nu/xy2e
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  i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.

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  (717): i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer. http://tfl.nu/4jv5
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  Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.

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  (717): Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character. http://tfl.nu/xf1x
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  Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication

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  (717): Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication http://tfl.nu/j4oj
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  Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.

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  (717): Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers. http://tfl.nu/8bi9
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  Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship

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  (717): Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship http://tfl.nu/uea0
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  So Monday we're lesbians.

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  Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.

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  (717): So Monday we're lesbians. (1-717): Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball. http://tfl.nu/1nin
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  Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.

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  (717): Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend. http://tfl.nu/7j2q
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  I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.

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  (717): I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups. http://tfl.nu/ij1j
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  I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan

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  (717): I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan http://tfl.nu/f98a
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  Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.

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  (717): Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself. http://tfl.nu/4nxp
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  I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.

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  (717): I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild. http://tfl.nu/q7pb
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  Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.

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  (717): Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control. http://tfl.nu/b7dz
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