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How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
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