Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (831)

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  (831): View more from California

  ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.

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  (831): ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty. http://tfl.nu/yaxr
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  I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?

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  I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak

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  (650): I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up? (831): I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak http://tfl.nu/xa8u
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  Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it

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  (831): Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it http://tfl.nu/5vlz
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  My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire

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  (831): My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire http://tfl.nu/9w77
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  I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"

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  (831): I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy" http://tfl.nu/ej7w
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  think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.

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  (831): think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout. http://tfl.nu/imuz
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  (916): View more from California

  I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.

  (831): View more from California

  Promise??

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  (916): I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird. (831): Promise?? http://tfl.nu/1nt5
  Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (416)
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  I won't be able to get a boner for a month

  (916): View more from California

  Challenge accepted.

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  (831): I won't be able to get a boner for a month (916): Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/ivke
  Replies (3) Good night (1111) Bad night (223)
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  Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE

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  (831): Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE http://tfl.nu/2zmk
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  sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing

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  it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"

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  (831): sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing (408): it's like you just said "i want you to suffer" http://tfl.nu/wbp5
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  Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.

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  (831): Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me. http://tfl.nu/beqb
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  Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur

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  (831): Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur http://tfl.nu/smm5
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  to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal

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  (831): to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal http://tfl.nu/c7f7
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  Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline

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  (831): Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline http://tfl.nu/8i35
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  You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!

  (408): View more from California

  For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?

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  (831): You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!! (408): For my parents' annivery card? How high are you? http://tfl.nu/qppn
  Replies (2) Good night (1488) Bad night (405)