Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (831)

Last Night in California (831)

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I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all

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(831): I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all http://tfl.nu/rp5b

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I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.

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(831): I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT. http://tfl.nu/8xfg

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Maybe I'm a robot.

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You can't be that drunk already

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(530): Maybe I'm a robot. (831): You can't be that drunk already http://tfl.nu/ekm7

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This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.

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How much did you smoke??

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(916): This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big. (831): How much did you smoke?? http://tfl.nu/a96z

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YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.

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(831): YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL. http://tfl.nu/sk5h

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Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.

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You did a keg stand on the toilet?!

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(408): Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying. (831): You did a keg stand on the toilet?! http://tfl.nu/1e43

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oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.

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(831): oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK. http://tfl.nu/xtip

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She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester

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(831): She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester http://tfl.nu/csr6

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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.

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(831): Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success. http://tfl.nu/9nkx

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we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?

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(831): we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana? http://tfl.nu/g0t3

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tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better

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(831): tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better http://tfl.nu/2cpz

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i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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(831): i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something http://tfl.nu/b053

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sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.

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(831): sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college. http://tfl.nu/u990

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I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.

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(831): I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET. http://tfl.nu/2kw0

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i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila

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(831): i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila http://tfl.nu/efvv

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Last Night in California (831)

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