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explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
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