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Last Night in Massachusetts (617)

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I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?

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(617): I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks? http://tfl.nu/26q7

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I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night

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(617): I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night http://tfl.nu/u1r5

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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.

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(617): he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home. http://tfl.nu/gpi6

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how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?

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(617): how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night? http://tfl.nu/7t3i

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I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.

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(617): I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made. http://tfl.nu/enkt

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just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.

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(617): just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil. http://tfl.nu/drc4

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i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

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(617): i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night. http://tfl.nu/15vj

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I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.

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Barney's a jerk

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(781): I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments. (617): Barney's a jerk http://tfl.nu/dlz7

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Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate

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(617): Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate http://tfl.nu/lx6z

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Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?

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(617): Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness? http://tfl.nu/575t

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Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...

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(617): Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh... http://tfl.nu/to9x

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Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China

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(617): Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China http://tfl.nu/t41x

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there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened

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(617): there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened http://tfl.nu/7n12

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I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does

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(617): I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does http://tfl.nu/o8tg

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shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick

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(617): shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick http://tfl.nu/i68n

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Last Night in Massachusetts (617)

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