Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Massachusetts (617)

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????

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  5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal

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  (617): she's five days sober.....are those consecutive???? (781): 5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal http://tfl.nu/ppjn
  Replies (1) Good night (1202) Bad night (468)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking

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  (617): If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking http://tfl.nu/9ua1
  Replies (3) Good night (1015) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time

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  (617): Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time http://tfl.nu/k7i2
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?

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  (617): How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity? http://tfl.nu/1m4t
  Replies (7) Good night (1811) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.

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  (617): I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me. http://tfl.nu/t0zt
  Replies (4) Good night (2323) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.

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  (617): pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle. http://tfl.nu/r2o0
  Replies (3) Good night (2961) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.

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  (617): She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI. http://tfl.nu/ewv2
  Replies (6) Good night (1557) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking

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  (617): College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking http://tfl.nu/tpd8
  Replies (9) Good night (1713) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home

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  (617): Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home http://tfl.nu/toow
  Replies (2) Good night (350) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.

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  (617): Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it. http://tfl.nu/fza1
  Replies (9) Good night (701) Bad night (1106)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.

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  (617): Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory. http://tfl.nu/p9v1
  Replies (11) Good night (1872) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few

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  (617): I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few http://tfl.nu/zw2s
  Replies (8) Good night (847) Bad night (1864) Order T-Shirt
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  He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you

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  (212): He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket (617): I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you http://tfl.nu/qdni
  Replies (3) Good night (1517) Bad night (472)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day

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  (617): FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day http://tfl.nu/h5lz
  Replies (8) Good night (2140) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.

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  (617): Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home. http://tfl.nu/hrqw
  Replies (6) Good night (1436) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt