Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (857)

Last Night in Massachusetts (857)

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His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.

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(857): His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time. http://tfl.nu/a23u

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Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.

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(857): Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much. http://tfl.nu/89i4

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Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests

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(857): Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests http://tfl.nu/5mbt

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HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG

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(857): HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG http://tfl.nu/zv8v

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Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.

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(857): Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works. http://tfl.nu/hgbu

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Sunday is the day of rest.

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As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.

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(857): Sunday is the day of rest. (857): As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest. http://tfl.nu/lma5

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You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".

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(857): You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar". http://tfl.nu/eikz

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It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.

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(857): It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful. http://tfl.nu/xfy4

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They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash

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(857): They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash http://tfl.nu/jeu8

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I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!

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(857): I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test! http://tfl.nu/oysi

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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.

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(857): You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks. http://tfl.nu/io5n

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other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other

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(857): other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other http://tfl.nu/ii3b

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Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.

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(857): Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility. http://tfl.nu/agqx

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So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?

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(857): So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month? http://tfl.nu/9rfa

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he had to chose between the booze and condoms

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what did he choose?

(857): View more from Massachusetts

the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?

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(857): he had to chose between the booze and condoms (774): what did he choose? (857): the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right? http://tfl.nu/iz27

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Last Night in Massachusetts (857)

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