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i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
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