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When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
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