Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (307)

Last Night in Wyoming (307)

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i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer

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(307): i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer http://tfl.nu/m2mn

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Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.

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(307): Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again. http://tfl.nu/btf1

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I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.

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(307): I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that. http://tfl.nu/zno7

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Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk

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(307): Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk http://tfl.nu/09b7

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So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.

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Haha. Niice.

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Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.

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both.

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(479): So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack. (307): Haha. Niice. (479): Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered. (307): both. http://tfl.nu/wvm3

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Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.

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(307): Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding. http://tfl.nu/82eq

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Im watching someone hooking up in the library

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procrastination at its finest

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(307): Im watching someone hooking up in the library (970): procrastination at its finest http://tfl.nu/d7sa

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I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..

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(307): I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie.. http://tfl.nu/boas

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Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night

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(307): Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night http://tfl.nu/tl6b

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mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.

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(307): mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her. http://tfl.nu/aq8k

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burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef

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(307): burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef http://tfl.nu/mi4v

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if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.

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(307): if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself. http://tfl.nu/s9we

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i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was

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(307): i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was http://tfl.nu/vjju

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If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

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(307): If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter... http://tfl.nu/rvqi

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i wish you could fill a pinata with booze

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(307): i wish you could fill a pinata with booze http://tfl.nu/eyoz

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Last Night in Wyoming (307)

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