Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (870)

Last Night in Arkansas (870)

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I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"

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(870): I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough" http://tfl.nu/ficv

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I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"

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I'll start the recruiting

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(870): I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!" (501): I'll start the recruiting http://tfl.nu/vx2o

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So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.

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(870): So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub. http://tfl.nu/l7si

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There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.

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(870): There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked. http://tfl.nu/ccaq

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I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.

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(870): I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting. http://tfl.nu/ibtm

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Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!

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(870): Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking! http://tfl.nu/tcnj

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I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile

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(870): I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile http://tfl.nu/qexx

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Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.

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(870): Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants. http://tfl.nu/u5r1

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Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...

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(870): Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories... http://tfl.nu/piuz

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When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.

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(870): When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody. http://tfl.nu/gc8j

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I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.

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(870): I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards. http://tfl.nu/javn

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She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?

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(870): She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her? http://tfl.nu/qt09

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I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster

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(870): I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster http://tfl.nu/2cv6

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I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.

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(870): I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me. http://tfl.nu/h17o

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I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that

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(870): I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that http://tfl.nu/cuww

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Last Night in Arkansas (870)

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