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Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I need to stop coming to work sober
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