Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (808)

Last Night in Hawaii (808)

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.

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(808): Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high. http://tfl.nu/emp7

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Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD

(206): View more from Washington

Or, you could have used a condom

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(808): Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD (206): Or, you could have used a condom http://tfl.nu/0l3i

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Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.

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(808): Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger. http://tfl.nu/99q6

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high

(808): View more from Hawaii

worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

nevermind....I'm on the way

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(814): dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high (808): worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave (814): nevermind....I'm on the way http://tfl.nu/dzeu

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Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

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(808): Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet? http://tfl.nu/bi9l

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I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.

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(808): I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends. http://tfl.nu/mxrh

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guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina

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(808): guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina http://tfl.nu/joff

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You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.

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(808): You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone. http://tfl.nu/k63s

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Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?

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(808): Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way? http://tfl.nu/yy6b

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drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night

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(808): drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night http://tfl.nu/q31t

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I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself

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(808): I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself http://tfl.nu/wwe7

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Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?

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(808): Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes? http://tfl.nu/1azu

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(808): View more from Hawaii

dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd

(1-808): View more from Hawaii

lock that shit down

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(808): dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd (1-808): lock that shit down http://tfl.nu/r4jz

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you were grabbing cocks left and right

(808): View more from Hawaii

you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"

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(808): you were grabbing cocks left and right (808): you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!" http://tfl.nu/iaqo

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I need to stop coming to work sober

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(808): I need to stop coming to work sober http://tfl.nu/5deo

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Last Night in Hawaii (808)

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