Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Hampshire (603)

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?

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  (603): Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people? http://tfl.nu/67j9
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  Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?

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  that happened

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  (508): Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing? (603): that happened http://tfl.nu/dxuy
  Replies (1) Good night (105) Bad night (263)
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  If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.

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  (603): If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it. http://tfl.nu/n6dm
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  You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time

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  (603): You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time http://tfl.nu/76fp
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (126)
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  Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?

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  (603): Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy? http://tfl.nu/plt7
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  YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.

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  (603): YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP. http://tfl.nu/wagi
  Replies (6) Good night (747) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt
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  You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates

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  (603): You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates http://tfl.nu/ztgg
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  I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel

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  (603): I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel http://tfl.nu/5thv
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  You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time

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  (603): You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time http://tfl.nu/9oit
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  I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?

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  (603): I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night? http://tfl.nu/pz1o
  Replies (3) Good night (210) Bad night (533)
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  well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,

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  (603): well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge, http://tfl.nu/ijq7
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  Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.

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  (603): Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by. http://tfl.nu/jwsa
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  I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex

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  College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?

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  (774): I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex (603): College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh? http://tfl.nu/q4kf
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (149)
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  There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.

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  (603): There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here. http://tfl.nu/dbwx
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (180) Order T-Shirt
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  Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks

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  (603): Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks http://tfl.nu/ddr9
  Replies (8) Good night (274) Bad night (507)