Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (435)

Last Night in Utah (435)

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Thanks for fucking me in last night

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TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT

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(435): Thanks for fucking me in last night (435): TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT http://tfl.nu/3wzm

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I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?

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(435): I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself? http://tfl.nu/fnlw

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Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids

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(435): Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids http://tfl.nu/id5c

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And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great

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(435): And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great http://tfl.nu/18wk

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It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.

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(435): It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk. http://tfl.nu/lvra

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I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!

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(435): I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!! http://tfl.nu/1ljj

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Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.

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(435): Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that. http://tfl.nu/d2qc

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When did we convert life to cartoon?

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(435): When did we convert life to cartoon? http://tfl.nu/wmk0

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Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.

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(435): Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender. http://tfl.nu/assa

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I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read

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(435): I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read http://tfl.nu/7a19

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If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.

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(435): If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/35sp

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Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.

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(435): Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping. http://tfl.nu/o391

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honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those

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(435): honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those http://tfl.nu/lx6k

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some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.

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(435): some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit. http://tfl.nu/s9z4

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Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.

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(435): Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control. http://tfl.nu/z6u1

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Last Night in Utah (435)

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