Texts From Last Night

Last Night in United Kingdom (+44)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up http://tfl.nu/86tf
  Replies (2) Good night (337) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again! http://tfl.nu/ztd6
  Replies (8) Good night (492) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over. http://tfl.nu/6ffz
  Replies (7) Good night (348) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill. http://tfl.nu/mubs
  Replies (6) Good night (676) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches. http://tfl.nu/i131
  Replies (6) Good night (1010) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman? http://tfl.nu/pxap
  Replies (1) Good night (704) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off... http://tfl.nu/dj4h
  Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB http://tfl.nu/timz
  Replies (4) Good night (1466) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/4b20
  Replies (7) Good night (348) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone. http://tfl.nu/uct6
  Replies (4) Good night (298) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness. http://tfl.nu/lp3m
  Replies (5) Good night (1049) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome! http://tfl.nu/jhr8
  Replies (2) Good night (1596) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it http://tfl.nu/yi0x
  Replies (7) Good night (944) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it http://tfl.nu/dp2q
  Replies (3) Good night (1299) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring. http://tfl.nu/y78v
  Replies (7) Good night (367) Bad night (1018)