Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (314)

Last Night in Missouri (314)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis. http://tfl.nu/6np1

Replies (5) Good night (135) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl. http://tfl.nu/hntx

Replies (2) Good night (139) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed. http://tfl.nu/a0tv

Replies (4) Good night (783) Bad night (69) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad

(224): View more from Illinois

I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad (224): I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick. http://tfl.nu/vatm

Replies (2) Good night (130) Bad night (788)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit. http://tfl.nu/r9h5

Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (169) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window. http://tfl.nu/5555

Replies (1) Good night (270) Bad night (208) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): "Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it. http://tfl.nu/6fe1

Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (147)
Favorite
(636): View more from Missouri

2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?

(314): View more from Missouri

Please tell me those aren't related.

(636): View more from Missouri

I made rice.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(636): 2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap? (314): Please tell me those aren't related. (636): I made rice. http://tfl.nu/b642

Replies (2) Good night (234) Bad night (830)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy http://tfl.nu/x180

Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock. http://tfl.nu/jkqv

Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (136) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection http://tfl.nu/gf0u

Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it. http://tfl.nu/p1fo

Replies (6) Good night (681) Bad night (190)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine. http://tfl.nu/qh5s

Replies (2) Good night (1000) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu. http://tfl.nu/ssef

Replies (7) Good night (601) Bad night (345) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face" http://tfl.nu/5wsk

Replies (3) Good night (979) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Missouri (314)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: