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if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
two words: eviction party
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
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