Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oregon (971)

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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.

  (509): View more from Washington

  you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left

  (971): View more from Oregon

  goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan

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  (971): I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH. (509): you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left (971): goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan http://tfl.nu/bxrp
  Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (28)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"

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  (971): no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack" http://tfl.nu/ruay
  Replies (2) Good night (348) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this

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  (971): I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this http://tfl.nu/ssq4
  Replies (4) Good night (186) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.

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  (971): Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here. http://tfl.nu/bude
  Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (157) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.

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  (971): Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/pagf
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.

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  (971): Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica. http://tfl.nu/ptav
  Replies (3) Good night (936) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.

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  (971): Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should. http://tfl.nu/ipz3
  Replies (11) Good night (421) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??

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  (971): Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body?? http://tfl.nu/w42i
  Replies (5) Good night (876) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.

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  (971): Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love. http://tfl.nu/5pup
  Replies (6) Good night (853) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."

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  (971): I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob." http://tfl.nu/bamh
  Replies (4) Good night (276) Bad night (529)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.

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  (971): It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth. http://tfl.nu/pavc
  Replies (5) Good night (251) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.

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  (971): He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME. http://tfl.nu/az6l
  Replies (7) Good night (297) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying

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  (971): you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying http://tfl.nu/m75c
  Replies (8) Good night (1440) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.

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  (971): I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney. http://tfl.nu/myp2
  Replies (21) Good night (1940) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.

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  (971): I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up. http://tfl.nu/s3lx
  Replies (4) Good night (1274) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt