Texts From Last Night

kizinky4's Favorites Texts:

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"

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  (201): I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad" http://tfl.nu/8w1c
  Replies (13) Good night (4361) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.

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  (905): sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night. http://tfl.nu/nv7h
  Replies (5) Good night (474) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.

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  (615): i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado. http://tfl.nu/rfln
  Replies (10) Good night (629) Bad night (132) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.

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  (815): Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time. http://tfl.nu/q2s4
  Replies (26) Good night (3445) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend

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  (412): she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend http://tfl.nu/4xq5
  Replies (15) Good night (5397) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Bad breakup?

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.

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  (410): Bad breakup? (1-410): He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB. http://tfl.nu/4dsn
  Replies (51) Good night (677) Bad night (4212)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.

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  (316): I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants. http://tfl.nu/tqrn
  Replies (5) Good night (2258) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  ............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help

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  (916): ............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help http://tfl.nu/sdm1
  Replies (6) Good night (196) Bad night (1145)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (292) Good night (69133) Bad night (1974) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts

  (805): View more from California

  YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts are serious business

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  (805): WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH (1-805): budget cuts (805): YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS (1-805): budget cuts are serious business http://tfl.nu/xrnj
  Replies (14) Good night (2846) Bad night (390)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.

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  (806): It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation. (1-806): It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that. http://tfl.nu/9jn5
  Replies (11) Good night (1524) Bad night (422)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.

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  (270): she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah. http://tfl.nu/1uyt
  Replies (30) Good night (9079) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"

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  (530): My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra" http://tfl.nu/4lmh
  Replies (8) Good night (3150) Bad night (152)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

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  (847): Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic. (847): It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word. http://tfl.nu/kmzp
  Replies (9) Good night (2447) Bad night (531)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.

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  (703): I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver. http://tfl.nu/n7jh
  Replies (23) Good night (5208) Bad night (1538)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.

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  (708): the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out. http://tfl.nu/g42w
  Replies (38) Good night (475) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.

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  (206): Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional. http://tfl.nu/t1vf
  Replies (9) Good night (2324) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.

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  (321): I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day. http://tfl.nu/k9f2
  Replies (17) Good night (5183) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.

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  (402): There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster. http://tfl.nu/rpfq
  Replies (2) Good night (1210) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt