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(817): View more from Texas
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
- (704): The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
- (907): She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
- (850): I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
- (615): When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
- (518): I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
- (314): I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
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