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  • 70 51
    Submitted by hwrecker on Jan 31, 13 at 1:53pm

    Dad will be so proud, Best Prostitute in the tri-state area in only 2 weeks!

  • 71 61
    Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Jan 31, 13 at 6:36pm

    I suggest you contact your company's Employee Assistance Program, if there is one, and get some substance abuse help while you still have a job and health insurance. Showing up sleep-deprived and/or a touch hung over is one thing, but if you're under the influence at work, you have a problem.

  • 60 43
    Submitted by Madcritter on Feb 1, 13 at 12:35am

    super bad at grammar. lucky for you everything sounds like vowels with a dick in your mouth, I hear another pay raise!

  • 65 60
    Submitted by Axel5238 on Jan 31, 13 at 4:30pm

    Don't show up to work on anything. Eventually, you are going to lose your job. Hope you weren't driving.

  • 52 50
    Submitted by Kevin201 on Jan 31, 13 at 8:39pm

    McDonald's must be hard up...

  • 44 39
    Submitted by budman999 on Feb 1, 13 at 7:54pm

    So now you're manager of the massage parlor?

  • 53 63
    Submitted by quagmire_69 on Jan 31, 13 at 1:49pm

    ...Keep up n u will fuck u r boss,get demoted,get a kid n ..,. Quit while u still ahead...

  • 52 62
    Submitted by AnnonWyo on Jan 31, 13 at 3:40pm

    Setting aside @quagmire_69 's abhorrent grammar, I love this. Except my nose is too perfect to ever risk doing blow, but if that's a risk you're willing to take, I give it a thumbs up.