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  I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus

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• Congrats, you actually made all the McDonalds employees feel like their lives aren't that bad for a day!

  Submitted by Phys on Jul 12, 13 at 5:18pm

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• No thanks, let Jesus finish cooking my burger.

  Submitted by Big_Loaf on Jul 13, 13 at 12:39am

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• This is fucking hilaarious.

  Submitted by iJakeandBake on Jul 12, 13 at 3:25pm

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• He does lawn work cheap!

  Submitted by cfreymarc on Jul 13, 13 at 8:30am

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• Yeah Jesus has my sack of weed

  Submitted by nitro420 on Jul 12, 13 at 3:57pm

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• In the words of Mojo Nixon, "I saw Jesus at McDonald's at midnight."

  Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Jul 12, 13 at 8:15pm

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• Why would you need a bedtime story at Mc D's? I don't get it.

  Submitted by Dsapeer on Jul 12, 13 at 4:22pm

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• Jesus takes money, never gives. Oh wait... that's his disciples.

  Submitted by TyphoidSammy on Jul 27, 13 at 6:08pm

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• Of coursed u do

  Submitted by naye on Jul 14, 13 at 3:51pm

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• But do you really need Jesus though cause you are drunk and have penny all over u.

  Submitted by naye on Jul 16, 13 at 4:28pm

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• Then did they ask if you wanted fries with that?

  Submitted by ojg15 on Jul 15, 13 at 3:11pm

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• Why? Is he gonna pay for my order? Then YESSSS!

  Submitted by themaryann on Jul 13, 13 at 9:24pm

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