Texts From Last Night · skyeblue32's Favorites

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skyeblue32's Favorites Texts:

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(250): View more from British Columbia

We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.

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(251): View more from Alabama

why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(518): View more from New York

He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys

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