Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (551)

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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.

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  (551): No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours. http://tfl.nu/8sve
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  But break dance skills will only take you so far

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  (551): But break dance skills will only take you so far http://tfl.nu/859m
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  She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.

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  (551): She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot. http://tfl.nu/527s
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  Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners

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  (551): Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners http://tfl.nu/77j3
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  Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.

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  (551): Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win. http://tfl.nu/l1vw
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  Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me

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  (551): Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me http://tfl.nu/723s
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  The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.

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  (551): The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet. http://tfl.nu/8f2g
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  I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week

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  (551): I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week http://tfl.nu/k48u
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  i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me

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  (551): i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me http://tfl.nu/tacv
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  Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK

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  (551): Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK http://tfl.nu/f4xz
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  Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop

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  I really wish I could say this is a new low for you

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  (201): Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop (551): I really wish I could say this is a new low for you http://tfl.nu/0p1x
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  Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.

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  (551): Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again. http://tfl.nu/vdhg
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  do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??

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  (551): do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse?? http://tfl.nu/m371
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  the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit

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  (551): the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit http://tfl.nu/ma7y
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  Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva

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  (551): Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva http://tfl.nu/0m5z
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