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  • Submitted by stokedonsurf on Jul 21, 10 at 3:46pm

    Spoken like a true rapist.

  • 96 71
    Submitted by itsmillertime on Jul 21, 10 at 3:49pm

    When is Ben Roethlisberger gonna learn?

  • 83 53
    Submitted by lockdown23 on Jul 21, 10 at 3:57pm

    I imagine this being said like the "its my money and i need it now!" commercials.

  • 79 71
    Submitted by Yourhappiness on Jul 21, 10 at 3:30pm

    Would you stick it in a blender? Or a light socket?

    • 39 58
      Submitted by jbwarner86 on Jul 21, 10 at 11:11pm

      Only if he wanted to.

  • 64 47
    Submitted by embracethefury on Jul 22, 10 at 8:49am

    Famous last words?

  • 70 63
    Submitted by bringatowel on Jul 21, 10 at 3:16pm

    woahh soo funny omg...

  • 58 44
    Submitted by _bbycakes on Jul 23, 10 at 4:22pm

    Wow. Truer words have never been spoken by a rapist.

  • 66 60
    Submitted by zcfrey on Jul 21, 10 at 6:46pm

    Hell ya bro!!

  • 61 50
    Submitted by karla on Jul 21, 10 at 4:15pm

    Hahaha best outta the ones I've read today lol :D

  • 63 62
    Submitted by Dumbledore_Died on Jul 21, 10 at 3:15pm

    Spoiler alert: Dumbledore dies.

  • 48 34
    Submitted by Creeperstar on Jul 21, 10 at 4:45pm

    Jesus would agree.

  • 55 49
    Submitted by niceman on Jul 21, 10 at 10:37pm

    If it's big, then why the fuck not? Violently curse anyone who questions your dick whipping out authority

  • 56 52
    Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 4:44pm

    NOT near the beer dingo please

  • 59 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 3:35pm

    Haha..... Totally

  • 45 34
    Submitted by EmmaXxX on Jul 21, 10 at 6:56pm

    Taking control...I like it ;)

  • 58 62
    Submitted by drewtheman on Jul 21, 10 at 11:10pm

    Sounds like something my friend would say and he's from Vegas.

  • 51 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 10 at 1:47am

    Truer words have never been spoken

  • 63 73
    Submitted by egirl on Jul 21, 10 at 4:31pm

    How bout you lay your fuck stick up on me

  • 59 67
    Submitted by peytonmanning on Jul 21, 10 at 3:30pm

    Peyton Manning had sex with a dolphin

  • 49 51
    Submitted by Jdub77 on Jul 21, 10 at 4:36pm

    Text me!! Five eight zero six nine five one one six one

  • 45 44
    Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 3:52am

    Michael Jackson ain't dead cuz I saw him with a fat Elvis when I went to Disneyland

  • 46 47
    Submitted by texasaj on Jul 21, 10 at 3:48pm

    That's freakin awesome

  • 47 51
    Submitted by laxbro18 on Jul 21, 10 at 7:29pm

    Haha

  • 45 50
    Submitted by satanicfrog138 on Jul 21, 10 at 10:41pm

    Wooo Vegas!!!! Hey egirl I got mine here

  • 47 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 3:26pm

    Lol. I feel the same way with my pretezls.

  • 46 54
    Submitted by mycoolname on Jul 22, 10 at 12:36am

    Michael Jackson just won't die, will he?

  • 49 62
    Submitted by jbwarner86 on Jul 21, 10 at 11:10pm

    "What-eva, I do what I want!"

  • 44 55
    Submitted by Jason_Statham on Jul 22, 10 at 10:14am

    This is Jason Statham, and jbwarner86 has seen south park.

  • 44 56
    Submitted by anonymous0009 on Jul 21, 10 at 6:22pm

    Bad idea, my friend.

  • 56 84
    Submitted by smartgrrl2 on Jul 21, 10 at 3:45pm

    Uh huh. That includes my little strap-on number. You best be wary...

  • 39 51
    Submitted by Premeau on Jul 22, 10 at 1:45pm

    that's great

  • 43 60
    Submitted by agracc on Aug 19, 10 at 11:16pm

    best. text. ever.

  • 44 62
    Submitted by alliemcbeal on Jul 21, 10 at 6:06pm

    Haha stay classy Vegas

  • 42 61
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 22, 10 at 1:30am

    Michael Jackson died?

  • 38 54
    Submitted by gunmetalballoon on Jul 21, 10 at 4:18pm

    Nab not Ben roethlisburger he lives in Pittsburgh that's 412 or 724

  • 37 54
    Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 1:24pm

    This is stupid and transport out jason

  • 47 75
    Submitted by wtfwjd on Jul 21, 10 at 3:15pm

    Hmmm...what the fuck would Jesus do in this situation?

  • 35 63
    Submitted by mnsbaseball on Jul 21, 10 at 6:33pm

    Damn straight!