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  • Submitted by hxck on Jul 20, 10 at 9:36pm

    Who the fuck eats out a stripper anyway? That's disgusting.

  • Submitted by fuckyoufirsty on Jul 20, 10 at 8:15pm

    Hahaha u ate out my mom...now u have herpes

  • Submitted by jmay5 on Jul 20, 10 at 10:15pm

    You "ate out" a stripper.. Congradulations you now have STDs. Dirty fuck.

  • Submitted by MenZieUh on Jul 20, 10 at 9:36pm

    did u check the expiration date?

  • Submitted by karenina on Jul 20, 10 at 8:14pm

    So it was good, then? Or a bit out of date?

  • Submitted by Trollinn on Jul 20, 10 at 8:58pm

    They see me trollin, they hatin

  • Submitted by viper4985 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:40am

    Fuck firsty

  • Submitted by Dumbledore_Died on Jul 20, 10 at 8:46pm

    Spoiler alert: Dumbledore dies.

  • Submitted by XLSuperman on Jul 20, 10 at 9:31pm

    Lol anyone who follows some nerd who writes the same crap on ever post can suck the entirety of my cock

    • 77 81
      Submitted by firsty on Jul 20, 10 at 9:56pm

      All 3 inches?

      • 73 80
        Submitted by ImKeithStone on Jul 21, 10 at 2:26am

        So... his is twice as big as yours firsty?

        • 57 73
          Submitted by firsty on Jul 21, 10 at 7:48am

          Firsty is 8.5 inches

          • 57 73
            Submitted by RochesterMNRules on Jul 21, 10 at 10:56am

            minus the 4 internet inches.

            • 57 67
              Submitted by urallstupid on Jul 21, 10 at 4:09pm

              lol @ internet inches.

            • 65 87
              Submitted by a_mayo_packet on Jul 22, 10 at 11:44pm

              cant be bigger than a mayo packets

            • 53 75
              Submitted by lmfao9000 on Nov 7, 10 at 2:56am

              hahahaha Internet inches =P

  • Submitted by rustybucket on Jul 21, 10 at 1:13am

    What does an old strippers pussy taste like? Depends!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 10 at 9:32pm

    I'm sure this was a sarcasm reply to a prior text.

  • Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 20, 10 at 9:25pm

    Isnt it funny when people announce that they are over tfln? Like were supposed to beg them to stay..." Please please we'll be funny just the way you want us to be ... We didnt exist til you logged on.. What will we do without you? Oh no!!" Relax heres the beer dingo.... And the bud dungo.. Pretzels!!!!!...;0)

    • 60 74
      Submitted by firsty on Jul 20, 10 at 9:58pm

      Well said!

      • 61 95
        Submitted by ih8firsty on Jul 21, 10 at 12:59am

        Firsty you suck, I honestly hate you. Get off TFLN for once and see what the outdoors look like.

  • Submitted by sidd_finch on Jul 21, 10 at 12:34am

    excellent burn. not only has this texter gone down on his friend's mother, he implied that she was stripper-level dirty - an insult on two levels. huzzah!

  • Submitted by BKzCHINOmx on Jul 20, 10 at 8:28pm

    Either fake. Or someone just contracted an std

  • 92 69
    Submitted by moxiecat on Jul 20, 10 at 11:49pm

    I'm fuckin sorry you have to resort to eating out strippers and moms. Damn, bro. That's the saddest shit I've ever read

  • 96 80
    Submitted by NeezyNapalm on Jul 20, 10 at 8:44pm

    Mountain lion goat attack!

  • Submitted by 1BigDaddy on Jul 20, 10 at 10:33pm

    If it smells like cologne leave it alone, If it smells like fish eat all you wish!

  • 98 96
    Submitted by Briannaaaaa on Jul 20, 10 at 8:25pm

    The term "eating out" is so repulsive. Can two vaginas taste the same? I thought everyone had their own unique flavor.

  • 89 82
    Submitted by viper4985 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:37am

    Go fuck yourself

  • 90 86
    Submitted by viper4985 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:41am

    Firsty go fuck yourself

  • 80 69
    Submitted by anachronic on Jul 21, 10 at 12:17pm

    Why do strippers automatically have to have stds?

  • Submitted by squibkick on Jul 20, 10 at 10:23pm

    Jesus would turn the stripper into a nun.

  • 83 82
    Submitted by egirl on Jul 20, 10 at 9:29pm

    Your mother and the strippers vag taste the same cuz their all rode hard and used up. Bad action dude.

  • 76 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 10 at 10:48pm

    Oooo burn!

  • 83 94
    Submitted by destructo on Jul 20, 10 at 8:25pm

    Holy shot batman! Look at those beef curtians!

  • 73 75
    Submitted by beachbaby on Jul 20, 10 at 9:22pm

    Wow that's nasty

  • 80 91
    Submitted by gizmo6969 on Jul 20, 10 at 11:10pm

    Someone tasted mothballs

  • 72 76
    Submitted by goefurself on Jul 21, 10 at 2:26am

    Fuck stinky puss

  • 73 78
    Submitted by arthurlux on Jul 20, 10 at 8:19pm

    I call fake.

  • 71 75
    Submitted by nesse01 on Jul 21, 10 at 4:58pm

    Wow dead pussy I probably great!

  • 71 75
    Submitted by nthnkng33 on Jul 21, 10 at 3:09am

    And team firsty, go get fisted.

  • 71 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:03am

    Kinda weird u commenting on 3.09s mental fitness when ur whole world seems to consist of a homo-day-centre for firstys and an unnatural obsession with pretzels....

  • 76 88
    Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 10:18am

    Firsty forever! Fun stays haters fade....

  • Submitted by Toxik on Jul 21, 10 at 5:10am

    That pussy smelled like the great deprestion

  • 69 75
    Submitted by rawr27 on Jul 21, 10 at 6:02pm

    Yo wax up my bitchz

  • 70 78
    Submitted by whiteknave on Jul 21, 10 at 7:52am

    Dad?!?!

  • 70 78
    Submitted by ImKeithStone on Jul 21, 10 at 2:23am

    And they both tasted like dusty Pretzels!

  • 71 83
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 9:51am

    I don't see any complaints from the people who created this App so why you got your panties in such a bunch? TFLN will always have people wanting to create new phrases. Some will catch on some won't but it won't be your job to determine who stays and who goes.

  • 73 87
    Submitted by viper4985 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:06am

    Really agian fristy and pretzles who give a shit o wait no one

  • 71 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:20am

    Finokes, firsty and pretzels. Look up obsession in the dictionary, buddy, and there's a gap-toothed, drooling, vacant-eyed picture of you

  • 75 93
    Submitted by KiethStone on Jul 21, 10 at 4:00am

    I would like to sincerely apologize, for it is I who started this. firsty was a result of me, so I now bid everyone adieu in hopes that firsty will follow suit.

    • 57 88
      Submitted by firsty on Jul 21, 10 at 7:46am

      Do not take credit for Firsty's work.

  • 65 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 12:32am

    Don't do it Jason, they want to make u a firsty gimp

  • 64 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 10 at 12:49am

    7.46, u, like firsty, need to do as ur told and stick to the treatment the doctor prescribes. Take the pill and the anger abates. Good boy!

  • 68 81
    Submitted by HCHxAssassin on Jul 24, 10 at 2:50am

    <((Crayon))

  • 64 75
    Submitted by austinonymouss on Jul 21, 10 at 8:45am

    Thats a fake keith stone >:( his name was I'mKeithStone but nice try. Actually no it wasnt a nice try it was stupid

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 1:46am

    Bahahaha firsty it's just like ur in school again. Everyone hating u except for ur two weird friends

  • 75 97
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 20, 10 at 8:39pm

    Lmao @8:14. Out of date, priceless.

  • 60 69
    Submitted by semin on Jul 21, 10 at 2:03pm

    Why would you put a strippers vagina anywhere near your face? That does not sound like a good idea.

  • 62 75
    Submitted by maxzilla1 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:21am

    Yeah Houston, keepin it classy

  • 63 77
    Submitted by destructo on Jul 20, 10 at 8:26pm

    *shit*

  • 58 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:39am

    "Oh u know what a dictionary is." now I feel bad going up against a 13 ur old :(

  • 72 97
    Submitted by viper4985 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:39am

    Firstys none of u are funny

  • 63 80
    Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 20, 10 at 10:33pm

    OH! WOW, MAN WHORE

  • 67 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 10 at 9:30pm

    Guess they want better costumer service. But Firsty doesn't care if you stay or go.

  • 63 81
    Submitted by gtfo_asshats on Jul 21, 10 at 4:33am

    What's your flavor, tell me what's your flavor. . . .

  • 54 64
    Submitted by stephanie853 on Jul 21, 10 at 2:04am

    Bull shit.

  • 65 86
    Submitted by XLSuperman on Jul 20, 10 at 9:20pm

    Ok fuck tfln I'm over it they r all fake

  • 63 83
    Submitted by Sam0 on Jul 20, 10 at 11:15pm

    Haha nice

  • Submitted by mrjoyboy on Jul 21, 10 at 12:10am

    WRONG...just WRONG...if it's true.

  • 67 93
    Submitted by SANFUKNTANA on Jul 21, 10 at 4:46am

    Hahaha STD infested toungue

  • 67 93
    Submitted by lane6 on Jul 20, 10 at 8:29pm

    faaake

  • 67 94
    Submitted by Sher69 on Jul 20, 10 at 8:37pm

    That's just not right!

  • 60 81
    Submitted by goefurself on Jul 24, 10 at 2:45pm

    Strippers r the shit

  • 57 75
    Submitted by bwill10 on Jul 21, 10 at 11:31pm

    Htowns finest bro...

  • 60 81
    Submitted by Ska69 on Jul 21, 10 at 3:32am

    get tested

  • Submitted by warcraftangel on Jul 21, 10 at 2:53am

    Even going to the strip club is a sin and all who disobey will burn in the afterlife. You should not look at women with lust.

  • 63 88
    Submitted by messymike on Jul 20, 10 at 8:18pm

    Like my mothers stripper?..haha

  • 61 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:38am

    Don't follow that with a "oh yeah?" or "says you!" will you. That'll be too much

  • 61 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:30am

    "oh u know what a dictionary is?"

  • Submitted by goefurself on Jul 21, 10 at 2:20am

    Just throwing somethin out there. If anyone knew firstys adress I'm guessing firsty would prolly be a 'firsty' to dissapear.

  • 55 74
    Submitted by MidgetClowns on Jul 22, 10 at 1:25am

    Small world.

  • 63 90
    Submitted by livetodisco on Jul 20, 10 at 11:17pm

    Hahahah !!

  • 59 82
    Submitted by Karsan on Jul 20, 10 at 8:14pm

    Lolz

  • 55 76
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 3:26am

    @3:09 get some rest. Maybe you'll feel better? Quit missing therapy and forgetting your meds. You'll be able to function much better in the real and in cyber space.

  • 62 90
    Submitted by nolanmann23 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:02am

    Cause im a mother f•••er ur a mother f•••er we should f••• eachothers mother\nF•••in eachothers moms\nPush in that lady where u came out as a baby ain't no doubt this s••• is crazy\nF•••in eachothers moms

  • 49 65
    Submitted by skittleeagle on Nov 3, 11 at 11:36pm

    Heres whats sad. That these kinds of sites are the reason that the suicide rate in young adults is so high. Why bully someone you don't even know? If you don't think the comment firsty makes is funny then just ignore it. You don't have to comment

  • 60 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 7:52am

    Firstys orifice is 8.5 inches

  • 58 85
    Submitted by combatwombat04 on Jul 20, 10 at 11:01pm

    BEST TFLN EVER! Like for real dude!! Lmfao!

  • 56 82
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 9:09am

    What's with all the homo talk from you anonymous finokes? You seem to be obsessed with it. TFLN takes an hour of my day. The fun with the pretzels is just that, dumb fun. No one actually eats that many pretzels. Ignorance is bliss for you.

  • 62 95
    Submitted by Jason_Statham on Jul 21, 10 at 8:58am

    ImKiethStone, you and I should start the "Anti-Firsty Alligience"! Down with the firsties!

  • 59 89
    Submitted by HR_paperstacks on Jul 20, 10 at 10:56pm

    Was it worth it

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:37am

    And for the record, first, in it's unsullied form, was a beautiful thing. Because three special kids on the special school laptop say the same thing doesn't make it a popular phrase on a site with thousands of ppl on it

  • 62 97
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 9:46am

    So you're the voice of thousands of people? I hope this isn't true.

  • 54 82
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 2:37am

    @2:20 I'll give you my address and then you can make me disappear tard!

  • 50 75
    Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 4:56am

    Now I'm understanding this is like jr highschool and they have cliques and the pretty can't talk to the ugly and fat don't like skinny anorexic people and he say she say and passing notes but text it looks like some \n people named firsty king or president or whatever is popular and people like me dont like it. I'm only twelve but this is just stupid

  • Submitted by sdrawkcabllort on Jul 20, 10 at 8:16pm

    Ytsrif em gnikam si anigav taht

  • 52 81
    Submitted by Anonymous1024 on Jul 22, 10 at 5:13pm

    burn!

  • 60 97
    Submitted by XLSuperman on Jul 20, 10 at 10:28pm

    Lol I'm not fuckin Asian

  • 56 90
    Submitted by virginiawolf63 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:53am

    I just threw up in my mouth. Thank you.

  • 53 85
    Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 4:48am

    that was so many words from that girl screwing herself. This place is dumb. I guess I'm to the only 12 year old here. Boohoo nobody wants to play with you. We don't even do that in jr highschool I am scared about my future dumb old people are stupid

  • 57 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:55am

    Too late. There was a vote. I'm in. Ur out. And uve been outed at work. Noone in ur station wants a g a y fireman around

  • 52 84
    Submitted by goefurself on Jul 22, 10 at 1:46am

    Hey all u firsty dumbshits. Noone is claiming to speak for thousands or even hundreds. But there's a very noticable difference in the amount of ppl who actually think ur funny- U can count them on ur hand, If u can count that high -And the ppl who hate u and think ur three year old's repitition of a phrase is stupid as fuck and want u to die, which yea id go ahead and say it was in the millions, but id say the several hundred u can easily count on this app will suffice. So do the world a fa

  • 52 84
    Submitted by denverdezjr on Jul 21, 10 at 12:34pm

    Why does everyone hate firsty?

  • 47 75
    Submitted by philelias on Jul 23, 10 at 2:22am

    that's not even remotely funny.

  • 50 81
    Submitted by milk on Jul 21, 10 at 10:18am

    You make me sick. Id rather eat shit then sime dirty strippers vag!

  • 55 91
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 12:02am

    Firstyfollower you are a witty firsty aren't you?! love it!

  • Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 20, 10 at 11:14pm

    I like the firstys. I have an addictive personality but a short attention span so I'll get bored soon but until I do Viva la Firstys and lots of thirsty pretzels!

  • 52 86
    Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 3:02am

    The haters are out tonight.... Wonder if they know there might be other sites out there...?

  • Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 1:57am

    Anonymous @1:46 you might as well write nahnahnenahnah. You bent finoke.

  • 54 91
    Submitted by viper4985 on Jul 21, 10 at 11:25am

    Firstyfollower spends an hour on tfln is your life that bad

  • 54 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 6:52am

    Why don't u do that? Get a private chatroom. Bring the two guys who appreciate u and chant about pretzels and coming first all day long! That way we all win

  • 56 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:04am

    Wakkawakka

  • 52 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 10 at 11:28pm

    Funny as shit

  • 54 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 10:02am

    Come on. U know it was funny. Eh? Eh?

  • 48 81
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 9:24am

    Oh you know what a dictionary is?

  • Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 20, 10 at 11:51pm

    Jason stratham... Will you accept the challange of transporting a load of valuable pretzels for team firsty..... ?

    • 76 69
      Submitted by ImKeithStone on Jul 21, 10 at 2:38am

      Team firsty?!?! You're a fu ckin' fa ggot dude!

      • 57 88
        Submitted by firsty on Jul 21, 10 at 7:52am

        Keith's pissed cause he ran out of pretzels. Firsty!

  • Submitted by shelbels8 on Jul 20, 10 at 11:11pm

    I love you firsty.

  • 48 83
    Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 9:59am

    So hilarious. You sure do bring up the homo issue a lot. Hhmmmm? I'm sure there's an App for that.

  • Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 20, 10 at 10:25pm

    Firsty and firstyfollower you never fail to humor me. 3 inches lmao. Firstys are funny. Boooooooo to the haters eat!

  • 49 86
    Submitted by Beaglehead on Jul 20, 10 at 11:42pm

    

  • Submitted by wtfwjd on Jul 20, 10 at 8:21pm

    Hmmm...what the fuck would Jesus do in this situation?

  • 50 90
    Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 23, 10 at 7:46pm

    @ onefourtysix you are a slag and if I was firsty you would be kicked off tfln. More people like pretzels than slag dusty cuntwads. Get a real job to help feed all your unknown sperm donors kids.

  • 50 90
    Submitted by viper4985 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:42am

    Dumbledore no obe gives a fuck about harry potter bullshit are u 5

  • 45 81
    Submitted by jenpearce on Jul 20, 10 at 10:52pm

    The dude's mom was the stripper! Lmfao he just got too drunk to realize that he wasn't at the club anymore!

  • Submitted by hamnop on Jul 20, 10 at 9:15pm

    FIRST MOTHAFUCKAS!!!!!!!!!!!!11

  • 48 89
    Submitted by Jason_Statham on Jul 21, 10 at 8:56am

    ImKiethStone, you should and I should start the "Anti-Firsty Alligience"! Down with the firsties!

  • Submitted by nthnkng33 on Jul 21, 10 at 3:05am

    Like eating an old arbys roast beef sandwich. whoah no good dude.

  • 46 86
    Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 2:59am

    Keithstone.. Youve been comparing penis's again?.....everyone needs a hobby ;0)

  • Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 20, 10 at 11:49pm

    Xlsuperman... Is that childrens superman jammies youre wearing? No beer for you... But can have pretzels... Tell me if they make you firsty

  • Submitted by Jason_Statham on Jul 20, 10 at 9:24pm

    It's Jason Statham, and I'm the Transporter, bitches!

  • 38 83
    Submitted by tec27 on Jul 21, 10 at 4:17am

    I don't mind fake texts as long as they're funny....not funny. Not even a smirk.

  • Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 12:46am

    Viper in diapers you sure are a horny finoke. Sounds like you need to get laid. Tiny penis just won't work? Sad for you. Eat a pretzel.

  • Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 2:35am

    @2:20 your life is so empty, sad, lonely and worthless that you have to make threats to people on a fuckin' web site? You indeed have many, many issues. Tell you what, don't get on TFLN. Just thought I would throw that in there. You seem to lack common sense.

  • Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 9:28am

    Original "Firsty" made a phrase popular when you couldn't and now your soul purpose in life is to try to keep anything firsty off TFLN? Good luck. Hope it makes your life more fulfilling.