cptmiabn's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/gzqy
  Replies (24) Good night (5336) Bad night (2184) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door. http://tfl.nu/3iyk
  Replies (9) Good night (6419) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him? http://tfl.nu/um4o
  Replies (30) Good night (3034) Bad night (4868) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true. http://tfl.nu/2syb
  Replies (33) Good night (6042) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night. http://tfl.nu/phgw
  Replies (73) Good night (8360) Bad night (1290) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?! http://tfl.nu/iqkb
  Replies (58) Good night (1783) Bad night (5097) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Yup.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then? (636): Yup. (314): Yup. http://tfl.nu/bp2u
  Replies (70) Good night (24697) Bad night (1720)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): I just negotiated a blow job for an interview. http://tfl.nu/ow0d
  Replies (15) Good night (3677) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact? http://tfl.nu/ny5t
  Replies (30) Good night (1661) Bad night (7249) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+32): View more from Belgium

  this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+32): this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk http://tfl.nu/muj2
  Replies (8) Good night (2946) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour. http://tfl.nu/xxvi
  Replies (39) Good night (11622) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10 http://tfl.nu/1xln
  Replies (13) Good night (6840) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about http://tfl.nu/idfh
  Replies (23) Good night (1281) Bad night (6080) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American. http://tfl.nu/4si2
  Replies (92) Good night (1489) Bad night (9064) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/6bmb
  Replies (28) Good night (5360) Bad night (2337) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her? http://tfl.nu/n019
  Replies (15) Good night (7586) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them... http://tfl.nu/ior4
  Replies (23) Good night (5199) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems http://tfl.nu/fumh
  Replies (4) Good night (3129) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf. http://tfl.nu/hkre
  Replies (62) Good night (1472) Bad night (6060) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  His apartment number was 69. I had to.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): His apartment number was 69. I had to. http://tfl.nu/cn9s
  Replies (22) Good night (7975) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!" http://tfl.nu/wp1u
  Replies (29) Good night (8113) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating. http://tfl.nu/qged
  Replies (19) Good night (5581) Bad night (1473) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants. http://tfl.nu/xx9d
  Replies (17) Good night (7765) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her. http://tfl.nu/d96s
  Replies (15) Good night (2832) Bad night (5517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades? http://tfl.nu/s5wu
  Replies (79) Good night (15431) Bad night (2679) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream http://tfl.nu/eta2
  Replies (28) Good night (2520) Bad night (6878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You know i think she's just using me for sex

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  I hate you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): You know i think she's just using me for sex (1-608): I hate you. http://tfl.nu/pxkn
  Replies (13) Good night (5366) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy! (218): I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head. http://tfl.nu/0svk
  Replies (29) Good night (4749) Bad night (1709)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect. http://tfl.nu/c9bw
  Replies (36) Good night (1265) Bad night (5624) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen http://tfl.nu/keq8
  Replies (18) Good night (1158) Bad night (8687) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. http://tfl.nu/htiz
  Replies (32) Good night (5137) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning. http://tfl.nu/odgl
  Replies (58) Good night (16174) Bad night (3383)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time. http://tfl.nu/dyz5
  Replies (20) Good night (4886) Bad night (1409) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry. http://tfl.nu/qm28
  Replies (9) Good night (4606) Bad night (1170) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate. http://tfl.nu/xbio
  Replies (17) Good night (1129) Bad night (3872) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one....... http://tfl.nu/w37i
  Replies (67) Good night (2493) Bad night (8869) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B. http://tfl.nu/8gac
  Replies (22) Good night (944) Bad night (5917) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg... http://tfl.nu/nasy
  Replies (44) Good night (2440) Bad night (6324) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (787): 1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while http://tfl.nu/u6qo
  Replies (17) Good night (1173) Bad night (7026)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex. http://tfl.nu/3z60
  Replies (20) Good night (1519) Bad night (3822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account http://tfl.nu/ufbc
  Replies (20) Good night (5237) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS! http://tfl.nu/o380
  Replies (49) Good night (3052) Bad night (5016) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building. http://tfl.nu/5zu2
  Replies (19) Good night (3983) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (555): View more from

  My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (555): My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique http://tfl.nu/mm4o
  Replies (17) Good night (4369) Bad night (1332) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago" http://tfl.nu/h89t
  Replies (46) Good night (1982) Bad night (7769)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut http://tfl.nu/7c6t
  Replies (19) Good night (5566) Bad night (1097) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time. http://tfl.nu/1zig
  Replies (23) Good night (4866) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something. http://tfl.nu/5sjh
  Replies (21) Good night (4892) Bad night (1012) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head http://tfl.nu/xp32
  Replies (22) Good night (4600) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I think my check liver light just came on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Dude, I think my check liver light just came on http://tfl.nu/539i
  Replies (29) Good night (7712) Bad night (1138) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something. http://tfl.nu/5hhc
  Replies (16) Good night (4467) Bad night (1782) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american http://tfl.nu/02ni
  Replies (193) Good night (2908) Bad night (15378) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate http://tfl.nu/io2z
  Replies (20) Good night (1169) Bad night (3280) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college http://tfl.nu/2nnj
  Replies (13) Good night (4409) Bad night (1460) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): For future references, orgasms clear sinuses. http://tfl.nu/b2l7
  Replies (24) Good night (7542) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head??? http://tfl.nu/gwk9
  Replies (30) Good night (4523) Bad night (1399) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks? http://tfl.nu/fbfw
  Replies (8) Good night (1157) Bad night (2728) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up http://tfl.nu/duhi
  Replies (25) Good night (4011) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free. http://tfl.nu/5dnh
  Replies (17) Good night (3505) Bad night (1290) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE http://tfl.nu/0vv1
  Replies (71) Good night (5472) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months. http://tfl.nu/isje
  Replies (9) Good night (3622) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa. http://tfl.nu/e1sr
  Replies (26) Good night (6609) Bad night (1329) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night http://tfl.nu/tom4
  Replies (25) Good night (3770) Bad night (1645) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck. http://tfl.nu/gj91
  Replies (23) Good night (1357) Bad night (4538) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too http://tfl.nu/t8cv
  Replies (17) Good night (4708) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night http://tfl.nu/eoys
  Replies (16) Good night (1447) Bad night (3883) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan. http://tfl.nu/jf6q
  Replies (41) Good night (11574) Bad night (1884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life http://tfl.nu/l4zk
  Replies (37) Good night (5976) Bad night (1154) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops. http://tfl.nu/2l9n
  Replies (11) Good night (4507) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship http://tfl.nu/ldcl
  Replies (21) Good night (4255) Bad night (1244) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy. http://tfl.nu/kmxm
  Replies (36) Good night (1661) Bad night (4728) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her" http://tfl.nu/oma3
  Replies (16) Good night (4803) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you." http://tfl.nu/7a3m
  Replies (55) Good night (26470) Bad night (2255) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it. http://tfl.nu/2i57
  Replies (43) Good night (4059) Bad night (4364) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money" http://tfl.nu/engr
  Replies (14) Good night (6189) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night. http://tfl.nu/1jxg
  Replies (9) Good night (4063) Bad night (1242) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school

  (1-914): View more from New York

  oh right the one that ends on your bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school (1-914): oh right the one that ends on your bed http://tfl.nu/wrnw
  Replies (8) Good night (6109) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester. http://tfl.nu/skng
  Replies (14) Good night (5861) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends.. http://tfl.nu/z85j
  Replies (9) Good night (5027) Bad night (1277) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes. http://tfl.nu/3m35
  Replies (20) Good night (4849) Bad night (1241) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left. http://tfl.nu/59ww
  Replies (38) Good night (1607) Bad night (8246) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine? http://tfl.nu/wblw
  Replies (39) Good night (3965) Bad night (1685) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them. http://tfl.nu/y8vc
  Replies (10) Good night (3519) Bad night (1423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic. http://tfl.nu/18x8
  Replies (31) Good night (1231) Bad night (4897) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right. http://tfl.nu/ehig
  Replies (12) Good night (9722) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. http://tfl.nu/5zhv
  Replies (22) Good night (7084) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister

  (216): View more from Ohio

  i hate you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister (216): i hate you http://tfl.nu/9cj0
  Replies (43) Good night (22298) Bad night (1511)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win. http://tfl.nu/b8se
  Replies (15) Good night (5169) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  it was like a zeppelin in a condom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): it was like a zeppelin in a condom http://tfl.nu/vkzf
  Replies (27) Good night (4204) Bad night (980) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far http://tfl.nu/0vof
  Replies (37) Good night (1585) Bad night (4340) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack. http://tfl.nu/2spc
  Replies (12) Good night (4046) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot. (1-651): called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck. http://tfl.nu/1omb
  Replies (18) Good night (5882) Bad night (1372)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  that's what penises do

  (254): View more from Texas

  they tell lies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): that's what penises do (254): they tell lies. http://tfl.nu/si8y
  Replies (14) Good night (4541) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often. http://tfl.nu/3lpk
  Replies (40) Good night (5640) Bad night (1658) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock. http://tfl.nu/0ypw
  Replies (11) Good night (3515) Bad night (1309) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys. http://tfl.nu/g37d
  Replies (310) Good night (11064) Bad night (5472) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner. (419): you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio. http://tfl.nu/k9v1
  Replies (27) Good night (4246) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships. http://tfl.nu/filq
  Replies (12) Good night (3726) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  K. On the way. I need a drink.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Like a drink drink or like water?

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Have we met?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): K. On the way. I need a drink. (904): Like a drink drink or like water? (601): Have we met? http://tfl.nu/ckaw
  Replies (10) Good night (6058) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right? http://tfl.nu/9kx0
  Replies (22) Good night (4179) Bad night (1541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it. (1-405): i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. " http://tfl.nu/mvrv
  Replies (40) Good night (9558) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool. http://tfl.nu/0qcg
  Replies (42) Good night (12153) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me http://tfl.nu/wu1p
  Replies (28) Good night (1038) Bad night (3573) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me http://tfl.nu/lmdm
  Replies (20) Good night (6460) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college http://tfl.nu/imp1
  Replies (22) Good night (1335) Bad night (5806) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer http://tfl.nu/xxdd
  Replies (31) Good night (10919) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization. http://tfl.nu/1m6d
  Replies (16) Good night (8434) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her. http://tfl.nu/tg03
  Replies (97) Good night (4189) Bad night (9661) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition http://tfl.nu/g0ip
  Replies (14) Good night (739) Bad night (4906) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship http://tfl.nu/p7or
  Replies (15) Good night (3621) Bad night (1624) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Absence makes the cock grow harder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Absence makes the cock grow harder. http://tfl.nu/yyl1
  Replies (17) Good night (6610) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Umm you met him three days ago....

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said what I said

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for (215): Umm you met him three days ago.... (267): I said what I said http://tfl.nu/18h0
  Replies (30) Good night (7340) Bad night (1398)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx http://tfl.nu/s1q1
  Replies (30) Good night (2421) Bad night (3899) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer. http://tfl.nu/ok9n
  Replies (16) Good night (4493) Bad night (1877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten. http://tfl.nu/8y7f
  Replies (21) Good night (5915) Bad night (1692) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there http://tfl.nu/89or
  Replies (36) Good night (933) Bad night (7061) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed. http://tfl.nu/jsdy
  Replies (13) Good night (1849) Bad night (3485) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants. http://tfl.nu/v3dq
  Replies (51) Good night (8488) Bad night (1044) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES. http://tfl.nu/rhol
  Replies (32) Good night (1509) Bad night (6826) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks? http://tfl.nu/4hfi
  Replies (24) Good night (6317) Bad night (1109) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...

  (425): View more from Washington

  Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies... (425): Let's let the open bar be the judge of that. http://tfl.nu/ch8t
  Replies (7) Good night (5642) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point. http://tfl.nu/kfea
  Replies (31) Good night (4556) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  630.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains? (1-678): 630. http://tfl.nu/hncc
  Replies (22) Good night (6612) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed.. http://tfl.nu/gr14
  Replies (58) Good night (1157) Bad night (5420) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible. http://tfl.nu/pxku
  Replies (19) Good night (4632) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/m09q
  Replies (25) Good night (3939) Bad night (2485) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  morning after pill = breakfast in bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): morning after pill = breakfast in bed http://tfl.nu/l1az
  Replies (22) Good night (1211) Bad night (3781) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her http://tfl.nu/jaz5
  Replies (39) Good night (8377) Bad night (1239) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky. http://tfl.nu/b98l
  Replies (21) Good night (725) Bad night (3699)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  That's because you are an idiot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot. (1-417): That's because you are an idiot. http://tfl.nu/6gwl
  Replies (17) Good night (1586) Bad night (4708)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave. http://tfl.nu/8ei2
  Replies (12) Good night (1534) Bad night (5764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/zyub
  Replies (33) Good night (10251) Bad night (1155) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?" http://tfl.nu/niuk
  Replies (38) Good night (6765) Bad night (1050) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it. http://tfl.nu/6y9b
  Replies (36) Good night (5596) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex http://tfl.nu/9dx2
  Replies (17) Good night (5546) Bad night (1543) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad http://tfl.nu/o7wi
  Replies (32) Good night (1607) Bad night (8599) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me. http://tfl.nu/z6eo
  Replies (36) Good night (19462) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut. http://tfl.nu/onts
  Replies (29) Good night (5542) Bad night (1096) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes? http://tfl.nu/tmmj
  Replies (7) Good night (3413) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial. http://tfl.nu/6p87
  Replies (49) Good night (6334) Bad night (2719) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up. http://tfl.nu/ttp7
  Replies (14) Good night (5338) Bad night (1440) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have. http://tfl.nu/pc4d
  Replies (30) Good night (2780) Bad night (7451) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone http://tfl.nu/mgb2
  Replies (40) Good night (917) Bad night (6609) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): 47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over. (1-647): Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead? http://tfl.nu/n8gs
  Replies (57) Good night (1024) Bad night (5461)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get http://tfl.nu/sb3f
  Replies (18) Good night (1126) Bad night (3852) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.

  (917): View more from New York City

  i told you we never speak of that again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something. (917): i told you we never speak of that again http://tfl.nu/ijex
  Replies (14) Good night (1023) Bad night (4235)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Perfectly normal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?" (1-440): Perfectly normal. http://tfl.nu/lsmy
  Replies (15) Good night (6407) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already http://tfl.nu/bq9r
  Replies (19) Good night (1302) Bad night (3406) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up". http://tfl.nu/5shs
  Replies (39) Good night (11081) Bad night (1671)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you" http://tfl.nu/sv8k
  Replies (41) Good night (4419) Bad night (8694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow http://tfl.nu/mex5
  Replies (67) Good night (8367) Bad night (1884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics http://tfl.nu/o0a3
  Replies (21) Good night (6280) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband? http://tfl.nu/o4li
  Replies (178) Good night (1640) Bad night (14408) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants. (401): Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean. http://tfl.nu/96j7
  Replies (29) Good night (5999) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems http://tfl.nu/8tgm
  Replies (31) Good night (1483) Bad night (4768)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her? http://tfl.nu/cyj5
  Replies (23) Good night (1681) Bad night (4043) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever. http://tfl.nu/0i0j
  Replies (31) Good night (788) Bad night (5765) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle. http://tfl.nu/tr9x
  Replies (38) Good night (3142) Bad night (6677) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  what was i wearing?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress' (508): what was i wearing? (203): nothing http://tfl.nu/2bg6
  Replies (22) Good night (14673) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days http://tfl.nu/ngst
  Replies (21) Good night (9811) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/i0an
  Replies (21) Good night (916) Bad night (7873) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid! http://tfl.nu/xi6r
  Replies (51) Good night (1309) Bad night (10377)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay http://tfl.nu/z5xx
  Replies (9) Good night (4044) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths. http://tfl.nu/2srv
  Replies (38) Good night (10296) Bad night (1932) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom? http://tfl.nu/cirg
  Replies (72) Good night (17674) Bad night (2535) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish his dick was as long as his hair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I wish his dick was as long as his hair. http://tfl.nu/x3k7
  Replies (13) Good night (950) Bad night (6667) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other. http://tfl.nu/vc7e
  Replies (25) Good night (4979) Bad night (2160)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours. http://tfl.nu/vgfj
  Replies (118) Good night (39618) Bad night (1605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn http://tfl.nu/trfc
  Replies (14) Good night (5289) Bad night (1243) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried http://tfl.nu/9dr3
  Replies (51) Good night (15128) Bad night (3709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone. http://tfl.nu/g122
  Replies (24) Good night (8833) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight] http://tfl.nu/2cq7
  Replies (29) Good night (11293) Bad night (2365) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/0ol0
  Replies (19) Good night (5176) Bad night (1556) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck http://tfl.nu/mnqh
  Replies (49) Good night (1147) Bad night (7140) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of... http://tfl.nu/1eiy
  Replies (14) Good night (990) Bad night (4218) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Get out now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me? (513): Get out now. http://tfl.nu/w3kk
  Replies (57) Good night (8011) Bad night (2388)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick http://tfl.nu/5e6v
  Replies (17) Good night (970) Bad night (9860) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty

  (917): View more from New York City

  smooth operator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty (917): smooth operator http://tfl.nu/2sej
  Replies (25) Good night (7603) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way. http://tfl.nu/qonl
  Replies (34) Good night (5924) Bad night (2089) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school http://tfl.nu/94oh
  Replies (36) Good night (6488) Bad night (1400) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure. http://tfl.nu/ruyi
  Replies (10) Good night (5824) Bad night (1498) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever. http://tfl.nu/p80i
  Replies (11) Good night (8507) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip http://tfl.nu/drj8
  Replies (15) Good night (1909) Bad night (5830) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends http://tfl.nu/x0vc
  Replies (17) Good night (4653) Bad night (2083) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited.... http://tfl.nu/lzs9
  Replies (16) Good night (5045) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/v4fg
  Replies (13) Good night (5446) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face http://tfl.nu/zdhw
  Replies (52) Good night (8549) Bad night (1175) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train. http://tfl.nu/vfk6
  Replies (24) Good night (11376) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present. http://tfl.nu/aj43
  Replies (16) Good night (5500) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face. http://tfl.nu/bthr
  Replies (42) Good night (3595) Bad night (8916) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  bc i get to see you. naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid? (203): bc i get to see you. naked. http://tfl.nu/db7h
  Replies (24) Good night (8118) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation http://tfl.nu/369m
  Replies (13) Good night (4731) Bad night (1479) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife? http://tfl.nu/rjpj
  Replies (34) Good night (1929) Bad night (8179) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver. http://tfl.nu/132c
  Replies (21) Good night (5970) Bad night (1235) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/jdv3
  Replies (24) Good night (11683) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties http://tfl.nu/aad8
  Replies (16) Good night (7090) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me http://tfl.nu/mrrk
  Replies (25) Good night (1644) Bad night (5955) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize. http://tfl.nu/u4mt
  Replies (29) Good night (722) Bad night (6415) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off. http://tfl.nu/ypig
  Replies (27) Good night (5806) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck. http://tfl.nu/i3zz
  Replies (15) Good night (7736) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick http://tfl.nu/navf
  Replies (28) Good night (966) Bad night (8723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet. http://tfl.nu/rqq2
  Replies (8) Good night (4822) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  Glad to see your being a lady about this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture (1-336): Glad to see your being a lady about this http://tfl.nu/pcgd
  Replies (49) Good night (9257) Bad night (1085) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time http://tfl.nu/ixfn
  Replies (44) Good night (7197) Bad night (3895) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work. http://tfl.nu/q42i
  Replies (33) Good night (5755) Bad night (2756) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis. http://tfl.nu/3s19
  Replies (47) Good night (8586) Bad night (1998) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?" http://tfl.nu/juih
  Replies (11) Good night (5710) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual. http://tfl.nu/97w0
  Replies (44) Good night (13051) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with. http://tfl.nu/n5zf
  Replies (6) Good night (723) Bad night (3429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after http://tfl.nu/tns7
  Replies (39) Good night (14425) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0g8l
  Replies (45) Good night (874) Bad night (9497) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/oi0t
  Replies (26) Good night (8926) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over. http://tfl.nu/n4d4
  Replies (43) Good night (929) Bad night (8607) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat. http://tfl.nu/ob9t
  Replies (28) Good night (8990) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet" http://tfl.nu/f79o
  Replies (16) Good night (3356) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better. http://tfl.nu/o020
  Replies (21) Good night (5398) Bad night (1673) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/4mwl
  Replies (18) Good night (4771) Bad night (1912) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis. http://tfl.nu/bygw
  Replies (14) Good night (1206) Bad night (5443) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars. http://tfl.nu/f73b
  Replies (14) Good night (8258) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa
  Replies (19) Good night (6740) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended. http://tfl.nu/c9ao
  Replies (38) Good night (1335) Bad night (3619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season http://tfl.nu/ewwq
  Replies (37) Good night (1612) Bad night (9150) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was http://tfl.nu/5j8j
  Replies (14) Good night (6746) Bad night (2975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (16201) Bad night (1167) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger. http://tfl.nu/3qkv
  Replies (90) Good night (1585) Bad night (12621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back. http://tfl.nu/58ah
  Replies (35) Good night (1028) Bad night (7180)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears http://tfl.nu/nyec
  Replies (28) Good night (1141) Bad night (8190) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it. http://tfl.nu/89xj
  Replies (40) Good night (5245) Bad night (3510) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut. http://tfl.nu/b4vo
  Replies (95) Good night (5853) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  i wish semen tasted like chocolate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): i wish semen tasted like chocolate http://tfl.nu/nknz
  Replies (61) Good night (7967) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Guess she heard her killer coming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear. (1-973): Guess she heard her killer coming http://tfl.nu/u45m
  Replies (116) Good night (46422) Bad night (2025) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too. http://tfl.nu/4mju
  Replies (98) Good night (3633) Bad night (8917)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling http://tfl.nu/2wgp
  Replies (8) Good night (3035) Bad night (1051) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did he notice?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself. (215): did he notice? (267): of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up.. http://tfl.nu/7kng
  Replies (83) Good night (1612) Bad night (9848)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit. (478): I'll get my vaginal cartography poster. http://tfl.nu/m8ec
  Replies (28) Good night (5694) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome http://tfl.nu/lk4z
  Replies (37) Good night (8736) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear... http://tfl.nu/9by5
  Replies (19) Good night (4330) Bad night (1834) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is http://tfl.nu/l5nn
  Replies (20) Good night (6848) Bad night (1570) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number http://tfl.nu/mfjx
  Replies (14) Good night (6820) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeeah thank god

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant... (1-816): Yeeah thank god (816): Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million. http://tfl.nu/pevw
  Replies (54) Good night (1949) Bad night (15313)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger. http://tfl.nu/97wz
  Replies (27) Good night (4047) Bad night (3611) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  why does the wii remote smell like your vag?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): why does the wii remote smell like your vag? http://tfl.nu/z7m2
  Replies (55) Good night (1859) Bad night (8865) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers. http://tfl.nu/cp6l
  Replies (31) Good night (5625) Bad night (1724) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis. http://tfl.nu/t2k7
  Replies (14) Good night (989) Bad night (4736) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night. http://tfl.nu/vsnq
  Replies (17) Good night (754) Bad night (3338) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod http://tfl.nu/ur38
  Replies (11) Good night (5438) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2
  Replies (82) Good night (33423) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife. http://tfl.nu/rajf
  Replies (20) Good night (1224) Bad night (4336) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again. http://tfl.nu/ehlu
  Replies (20) Good night (6014) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation http://tfl.nu/w0jl
  Replies (9) Good night (6695) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed. http://tfl.nu/cedv
  Replies (101) Good night (9660) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew. http://tfl.nu/qfs0
  Replies (35) Good night (8231) Bad night (1737) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday? http://tfl.nu/71tj
  Replies (32) Good night (4640) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart. http://tfl.nu/liah
  Replies (22) Good night (6843) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load" http://tfl.nu/n15m
  Replies (20) Good night (4930) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do. http://tfl.nu/0i65
  Replies (13) Good night (6491) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky http://tfl.nu/6tb5
  Replies (22) Good night (8525) Bad night (1167) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage. http://tfl.nu/q50p
  Replies (17) Good night (4234) Bad night (1816) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before http://tfl.nu/9107
  Replies (20) Good night (5169) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/p490
  Replies (30) Good night (5399) Bad night (1265) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more. http://tfl.nu/sgvu
  Replies (12) Good night (4684) Bad night (1248) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me. http://tfl.nu/8ykb
  Replies (15) Good night (5071) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job??? http://tfl.nu/mo3e
  Replies (32) Good night (1003) Bad night (3883) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training. http://tfl.nu/j8m4
  Replies (2) Good night (2202) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle http://tfl.nu/2q09
  Replies (13) Good night (1021) Bad night (3559) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week. http://tfl.nu/7fuh
  Replies (62) Good night (7323) Bad night (1390) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick. http://tfl.nu/xsrx
  Replies (21) Good night (1729) Bad night (4774) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten... http://tfl.nu/iblb
  Replies (50) Good night (3073) Bad night (5634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again? http://tfl.nu/oao4
  Replies (20) Good night (963) Bad night (7383)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face. http://tfl.nu/e8qy
  Replies (83) Good night (17339) Bad night (1786) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  told you he was gay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head... (1-401): told you he was gay. http://tfl.nu/35fi
  Replies (18) Good night (957) Bad night (6521) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look http://tfl.nu/dski
  Replies (17) Good night (4661) Bad night (1322) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker" http://tfl.nu/30jj
  Replies (44) Good night (17879) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut http://tfl.nu/i4w4
  Replies (21) Good night (4683) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right http://tfl.nu/mx4p
  Replies (18) Good night (1482) Bad night (3866) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo. http://tfl.nu/qxrp
  Replies (8) Good night (699) Bad night (3916) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  The beer is more important than you right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): The beer is more important than you right now. http://tfl.nu/guwa
  Replies (8) Good night (3458) Bad night (1213) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'd suck anything for a pizza right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I'd suck anything for a pizza right now http://tfl.nu/grjz
  Replies (42) Good night (5267) Bad night (1584) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's always exciting to touch a new boob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): It's always exciting to touch a new boob. http://tfl.nu/e374
  Replies (12) Good night (6515) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top? http://tfl.nu/gcls
  Replies (47) Good night (1256) Bad night (6731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Haha did she know what fisting meant?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that. (1-734): Haha did she know what fisting meant? (734): Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself http://tfl.nu/kykk
  Replies (21) Good night (1207) Bad night (5205)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps http://tfl.nu/jjp1
  Replies (7) Good night (4726) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  the only muscles i have these days is kegels

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): the only muscles i have these days is kegels http://tfl.nu/1pmr
  Replies (13) Good night (3920) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  can I come stay the night

  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, but no sex tonight

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'll stay home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): can I come stay the night (217): yeah, but no sex tonight (810): I'll stay home http://tfl.nu/tu8g
  Replies (34) Good night (2196) Bad night (7963)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits http://tfl.nu/a8f8
  Replies (15) Good night (5022) Bad night (1173) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill http://tfl.nu/6vp9
  Replies (148) Good night (3401) Bad night (12191) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs? http://tfl.nu/bbo7
  Replies (28) Good night (4911) Bad night (1557) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Really.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b
  Replies (101) Good night (10163) Bad night (2830)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk" http://tfl.nu/d5n3
  Replies (12) Good night (6841) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet? http://tfl.nu/k73j
  Replies (22) Good night (1520) Bad night (4709) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.

  (1-785): View more from Kansas

  But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him. (1-785): But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed. http://tfl.nu/9pjf
  Replies (26) Good night (8563) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle. http://tfl.nu/saxv
  Replies (7) Good night (3627) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine. http://tfl.nu/l1h6
  Replies (25) Good night (6592) Bad night (1571) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest. http://tfl.nu/jvc2
  Replies (68) Good night (3159) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win. http://tfl.nu/w5au
  Replies (53) Good night (12521) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.

  (1-646): View more from New York

  Your pregnant arnt you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil. (1-646): Your pregnant arnt you http://tfl.nu/t59m
  Replies (21) Good night (1534) Bad night (5224) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds. http://tfl.nu/ihy8
  Replies (41) Good night (2798) Bad night (4619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school. http://tfl.nu/ym74
  Replies (7) Good night (7439) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve http://tfl.nu/obez
  Replies (20) Good night (5175) Bad night (1441) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong. http://tfl.nu/4d0b
  Replies (19) Good night (851) Bad night (6262) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch. http://tfl.nu/cew3
  Replies (14) Good night (4523) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife http://tfl.nu/ib00
  Replies (67) Good night (7811) Bad night (2098) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness... http://tfl.nu/ikgx
  Replies (21) Good night (961) Bad night (5562)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis. http://tfl.nu/2bxd
  Replies (35) Good night (1064) Bad night (7985) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal" http://tfl.nu/9g1t
  Replies (25) Good night (5806) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy." http://tfl.nu/262w
  Replies (21) Good night (6504) Bad night (1392) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent. http://tfl.nu/dqjd
  Replies (36) Good night (6046) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  no, that is not a typo

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night (401): no, that is not a typo (401): i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday http://tfl.nu/nleu
  Replies (50) Good night (6525) Bad night (2066)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off. http://tfl.nu/qavz
  Replies (34) Good night (6649) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with http://tfl.nu/nhts
  Replies (41) Good night (1954) Bad night (4689) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl. http://tfl.nu/qaad
  Replies (19) Good night (4216) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ay3j
  Replies (23) Good night (7447) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing. http://tfl.nu/yp46
  Replies (22) Good night (1649) Bad night (5003)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month" http://tfl.nu/8vpl
  Replies (46) Good night (14668) Bad night (1295) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/l4fs
  Replies (46) Good night (9297) Bad night (1882) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock... http://tfl.nu/jcau
  Replies (236) Good night (825) Bad night (3623) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended? (770): I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet." http://tfl.nu/9zzp
  Replies (6) Good night (2549) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She's allergic to latex.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Lucky bastard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): She's allergic to latex. (678): Lucky bastard. http://tfl.nu/kpxi
  Replies (30) Good night (5670) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve. http://tfl.nu/asc9
  Replies (6) Good night (6545) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  Just flip the mattress, it erases all

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Done and done

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town? (1-807): Just flip the mattress, it erases all (807): Done and done http://tfl.nu/aezq
  Replies (100) Good night (2770) Bad night (7462)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes http://tfl.nu/g6od
  Replies (17) Good night (5390) Bad night (1135) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd http://tfl.nu/28g8
  Replies (39) Good night (10807) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day. http://tfl.nu/wt3s
  Replies (22) Good night (5649) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut? http://tfl.nu/0rrw
  Replies (39) Good night (8202) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float? http://tfl.nu/0v16
  Replies (21) Good night (830) Bad night (5086) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over http://tfl.nu/rs0c
  Replies (32) Good night (1365) Bad night (5382) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won. http://tfl.nu/1h1c
  Replies (39) Good night (9103) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  Wtf? What happened?

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other. (1-931): Wtf? What happened? (931): Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home. http://tfl.nu/q0zo
  Replies (42) Good night (17398) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless. http://tfl.nu/9j3y
  Replies (83) Good night (9669) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate". http://tfl.nu/8tbj
  Replies (27) Good night (6022) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/jqgl
  Replies (36) Good night (6792) Bad night (2347) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it. http://tfl.nu/ii10
  Replies (23) Good night (4752) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life. http://tfl.nu/5bor
  Replies (17) Good night (4520) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth http://tfl.nu/7jau
  Replies (13) Good night (3685) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage http://tfl.nu/v5ez
  Replies (26) Good night (7079) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit? http://tfl.nu/zum7
  Replies (35) Good night (1433) Bad night (5408) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile http://tfl.nu/o0hq
  Replies (26) Good night (3896) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father" http://tfl.nu/5bjg
  Replies (20) Good night (1128) Bad night (5540) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride. http://tfl.nu/b4k2
  Replies (79) Good night (2017) Bad night (10849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type. (1-813): Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type. http://tfl.nu/055q
  Replies (90) Good night (7861) Bad night (1541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

  (949): View more from California

  I gave it to your brother to give to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it? (949): I gave it to your brother to give to you. http://tfl.nu/fwxt
  Replies (55) Good night (13542) Bad night (5084)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so. http://tfl.nu/ifvf
  Replies (42) Good night (7343) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it. (201): Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella.... http://tfl.nu/9xtz
  Replies (18) Good night (5760) Bad night (1943)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station. (1-603): The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS. http://tfl.nu/opvz
  Replies (24) Good night (7051) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it. http://tfl.nu/akrg
  Replies (16) Good night (5678) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch http://tfl.nu/zban
  Replies (28) Good night (8593) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives. http://tfl.nu/lbn9
  Replies (29) Good night (4300) Bad night (3294) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job. (320): Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud. http://tfl.nu/wke9
  Replies (38) Good night (7552) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  our generation is not ready to get married

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"? (636): our generation is not ready to get married http://tfl.nu/klk9
  Replies (49) Good night (6707) Bad night (2347)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.

  (512): View more from Texas

  There are margaritas in the freezer still.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life. (512): There are margaritas in the freezer still. http://tfl.nu/0xfi
  Replies (16) Good night (5297) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her http://tfl.nu/ofex
  Replies (65) Good night (13603) Bad night (2562) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven. http://tfl.nu/24p0
  Replies (42) Good night (9784) Bad night (1227) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  bring money and cleavage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): bring money and cleavage http://tfl.nu/w9ou
  Replies (20) Good night (5921) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table http://tfl.nu/oexb
  Replies (40) Good night (6936) Bad night (1716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy. http://tfl.nu/8ucs
  Replies (14) Good night (1019) Bad night (5040) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens. http://tfl.nu/pxin
  Replies (31) Good night (11293) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter. http://tfl.nu/7onh
  Replies (22) Good night (5532) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me http://tfl.nu/38h8
  Replies (28) Good night (7260) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??

  (713): View more from Texas

  Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept?? (713): Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger. http://tfl.nu/oww9
  Replies (44) Good night (4809) Bad night (9134)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  We shouldn"t be alone together

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  you didn"t say that yesterday

  (813): View more from Florida

  you weren't married yesterday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): We shouldn"t be alone together (606): you didn"t say that yesterday (813): you weren't married yesterday http://tfl.nu/oykj
  Replies (41) Good night (1671) Bad night (8820)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives. http://tfl.nu/vpi4
  Replies (22) Good night (7394) Bad night (1436) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!? http://tfl.nu/iolx
  Replies (39) Good night (11325) Bad night (1426) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter http://tfl.nu/pr4p
  Replies (22) Good night (4225) Bad night (1095) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud. http://tfl.nu/ruob
  Replies (32) Good night (6969) Bad night (873) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I accept this challenge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. (301): I accept this challenge. http://tfl.nu/mbqm
  Replies (60) Good night (18545) Bad night (1691)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian? http://tfl.nu/oazh
  Replies (42) Good night (10106) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally http://tfl.nu/d50n
  Replies (28) Good night (1538) Bad night (4150) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator http://tfl.nu/8mwn
  Replies (32) Good night (11774) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs" http://tfl.nu/07qw
  Replies (18) Good night (6405) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping http://tfl.nu/vxfh
  Replies (24) Good night (5327) Bad night (1241) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me. http://tfl.nu/1449
  Replies (24) Good night (5226) Bad night (1240) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin http://tfl.nu/pqe0
  Replies (26) Good night (4992) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad http://tfl.nu/3y6v
  Replies (101) Good night (3758) Bad night (66474) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual. http://tfl.nu/myfw
  Replies (23) Good night (5572) Bad night (1674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable. http://tfl.nu/oy8s
  Replies (27) Good night (5255) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/fg6t
  Replies (13) Good night (6530) Bad night (1430) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust. http://tfl.nu/mc9g
  Replies (6) Good night (5879) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships? http://tfl.nu/h1g6
  Replies (149) Good night (1551) Bad night (5805) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again http://tfl.nu/q7wy
  Replies (29) Good night (5004) Bad night (1463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake". http://tfl.nu/w0jz
  Replies (77) Good night (18506) Bad night (2416) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol. http://tfl.nu/kdb1
  Replies (21) Good night (1029) Bad night (8534) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week. http://tfl.nu/re6m
  Replies (15) Good night (3605) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good http://tfl.nu/bhfg
  Replies (73) Good night (10737) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom. http://tfl.nu/yu7b
  Replies (23) Good night (6852) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  i fucked her mom dude

  (1-408): View more from California

  there's something to tell the kids

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): i fucked her mom dude (1-408): there's something to tell the kids http://tfl.nu/gneu
  Replies (34) Good night (5176) Bad night (1523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/h2d8
  Replies (56) Good night (2912) Bad night (6327) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin. http://tfl.nu/wbej
  Replies (24) Good night (1749) Bad night (6631) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj . http://tfl.nu/vtaw
  Replies (17) Good night (8053) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed. http://tfl.nu/fhfj
  Replies (33) Good night (5956) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting" http://tfl.nu/dmjy
  Replies (25) Good night (15144) Bad night (1131) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride http://tfl.nu/4fyt
  Replies (34) Good night (20276) Bad night (1531) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate. http://tfl.nu/z0ff
  Replies (10) Good night (8644) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality http://tfl.nu/g1bs
  Replies (73) Good night (1306) Bad night (12668) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/7k06
  Replies (40) Good night (5704) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels http://tfl.nu/84kp
  Replies (16) Good night (1119) Bad night (5244) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me http://tfl.nu/r4c5
  Replies (39) Good night (7620) Bad night (1291) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits" http://tfl.nu/79pd
  Replies (40) Good night (11150) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit. http://tfl.nu/7z3f
  Replies (20) Good night (3539) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later. http://tfl.nu/c4t5
  Replies (25) Good night (6218) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer. http://tfl.nu/2j6i
  Replies (76) Good night (15371) Bad night (1080) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened... http://tfl.nu/unry
  Replies (66) Good night (25125) Bad night (2648) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery. http://tfl.nu/316x
  Replies (36) Good night (7334) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list http://tfl.nu/8owq
  Replies (20) Good night (11412) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right? http://tfl.nu/9j2v
  Replies (38) Good night (7454) Bad night (1693) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it http://tfl.nu/sa3y
  Replies (52) Good night (1241) Bad night (6061)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him. http://tfl.nu/d3m1
  Replies (31) Good night (11301) Bad night (1135) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing. http://tfl.nu/uzza
  Replies (71) Good night (20545) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life http://tfl.nu/jn6o
  Replies (19) Good night (6555) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (301) Good night (100317) Bad night (5712)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it. http://tfl.nu/hjdx
  Replies (79) Good night (9076) Bad night (2695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over http://tfl.nu/74b2
  Replies (29) Good night (21199) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it. http://tfl.nu/8sm7
  Replies (75) Good night (21619) Bad night (2489) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her. http://tfl.nu/kq4i
  Replies (29) Good night (3778) Bad night (2350) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/wt9b
  Replies (14) Good night (763) Bad night (5040) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis. http://tfl.nu/qfyr
  Replies (37) Good night (4135) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown (303): I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself. http://tfl.nu/zmkv
  Replies (44) Good night (8367) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
  Replies (289) Good night (62256) Bad night (4268)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/egoc
  Replies (28) Good night (3956) Bad night (1622) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Only if they know about it too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room? (1-780): Only if they know about it too. http://tfl.nu/fxqr
  Replies (42) Good night (3117) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  "I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head. (309): "I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night. http://tfl.nu/9065
  Replies (62) Good night (8909) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store http://tfl.nu/25ph
  Replies (86) Good night (14502) Bad night (2304) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands. http://tfl.nu/9x0j
  Replies (22) Good night (6350) Bad night (1125) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help. http://tfl.nu/rixg
  Replies (20) Good night (2480) Bad night (4972) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music http://tfl.nu/f2pv
  Replies (49) Good night (17803) Bad night (1256) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  just thought you should know her name is kristen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me. (630): just thought you should know her name is kristen http://tfl.nu/a2dg
  Replies (18) Good night (5065) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar http://tfl.nu/nzkd
  Replies (21) Good night (8396) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore. http://tfl.nu/ecds
  Replies (35) Good night (2315) Bad night (4824) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  areolas are like halos for boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): areolas are like halos for boobs. http://tfl.nu/m02r
  Replies (41) Good night (5030) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder. http://tfl.nu/7khc
  Replies (81) Good night (16570) Bad night (2593) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number? http://tfl.nu/4q6h
  Replies (33) Good night (5419) Bad night (1085) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours http://tfl.nu/3wc8
  Replies (33) Good night (4270) Bad night (1641) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection. http://tfl.nu/8k0m
  Replies (14) Good night (919) Bad night (4585) Order T-Shirt
•