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Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
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