Texts From Last Night · n_meeker's Favorites

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n_meeker's Favorites Texts:

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(708): View more from Illinois

There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.

Fav 24 846 4420
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

What the fuck, why would you ever do that?

(250): View more from British Columbia

Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?

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(905): View more from Ontario

It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.

Fav 3 1149 672
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(985): View more from Louisiana

He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?

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(817): View more from Texas

You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.

Fav 3 2070 712
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"

Fav 8 2289 867
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