Texts From Last Night · YourJesus's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

YourJesus's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(210): View more from Texas

I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...

Fav 3 1024 1841
share tweet
(336): View more from North Carolina

I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.

Fav 13 1257 3340
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.

Fav 17 3115 1241
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?

Fav 7 1851 904
share tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.

Fav 8 2188 988
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now

Fav 11 3990 1477
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.

Fav 15 3119 1228
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.

Fav 11 1127 3791
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT