Texts From Last Night · Cessy's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Cessy's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.

Fav 1 1391 559
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.

Fav 2 912 553
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.

Fav 6 1854 599
share tweet
(501): View more from Arkansas

When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.

Fav 1 1283 527
share tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(262): View more from Wisconsin

I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.

(224): View more from Illinois

That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.

Fav 3 1094 1086
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget

Fav 2 863 864
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09

Fav 4 1486 611
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(407): View more from Florida

She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.

Fav 3 1127 526
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT