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  • Submitted by queef on Jan 24, 11 at 1:05pm

    I don't care if it's an act, I want him. Now. In my pants.

  • Submitted by limes on Jan 24, 11 at 10:52am

    i respect you so much now she will love you enough to do anal. smart man

    • 70 61
      Submitted by mystomachurts on Jan 25, 11 at 1:06am

      My boyfriend is like this and I let him do whatever the hell he wants to me. And if he wants to watch football, I watch football. If he cringes when I suggest Black Swan for the movies, I suggest something else. We see how much you appreciate us and we give it back!!

      • 59 59
        Submitted by thebatman on Jan 25, 11 at 2:52am

        I can only imagine what you must look like with the screenname you picked.

  • Submitted by arthurlux on Jan 24, 11 at 1:10pm

    Blah Blah whipped blah blah man card blah blah. Guess what? You know what a girl wouldn't do for a guy like this? Nothing. Gotta give if you wanna get, and there ain't no end to what this guy's gonna be getting.

  • Submitted by mccl2231 on Jan 24, 11 at 1:21pm

    You gave your cat oral? Gross

    • 67 62
      Submitted by unfilteredpeek on Jan 25, 11 at 12:17am

      Made it eggs too. That's just twisted.

      • 69 70
        Submitted by youthanize on Jan 25, 11 at 11:14pm

        im pretty sure cats arent supposed to eat brownies either

  • Submitted by tmccleaf1171 on Jan 24, 11 at 1:18pm

    She likes brownies. That guy likes sex. I see the connection.

  • Submitted by butterf1yy on Jan 24, 11 at 4:01pm

    I feel like the people who are hating on this guy are the people who know they will never have anyone in their lives who like them enough to do nice things for them just because they can, and that makes their lonely black hearts just that much lonelier and blacker so they seek comfort in going online and trolling websites about funny texts. I feel sorry for these people. Not that sorry, though.

    • 63 65
      Submitted by thebatman on Jan 25, 11 at 2:53am

      RACIST

      • 61 64
        Submitted by Frankibby on Jan 25, 11 at 11:26pm

        i wish

      • 73 67
        Submitted by Frankibby on Jan 25, 11 at 11:28pm

        I wish I could thumb up this one!

      • 77 50
        Submitted by HeroStatus_LTD on Jan 30, 11 at 6:49pm

        oh...they want me to type more than FOUR characters so im just tryna waste some space here

  • Submitted by silverlining on Jan 24, 11 at 3:25pm

    Marry me <3

  • Submitted by harbqll on Jan 24, 11 at 3:32pm

    You girls sound perfect for each other.

  • Submitted by averizzle556 on Jan 25, 11 at 1:16am

    i think its funny when guys think they turn into bitches and pussies when they act like this... when the truth is guys that do these kinds of things get laid whenever they want it.

  • Submitted by Taipan on Jan 24, 11 at 11:32pm

    Psst... hey, all you sluts who think relationships are stupid... your asses get kicked back on the street in the morning while OP's girl gets this little slice of heaven. Bravo OP.

  • Submitted by andthelion on Jan 24, 11 at 9:54pm

    marry me? u don't have to feed my cat or make me brownies. but I love oral and eggs.

    • 44 32
      Submitted by DerKarismatisch on Jul 21, 12 at 12:13am

      Oral and Eggs needs to be the name of a lesbian singing duet on YouTube.

  • Submitted by NataSept on Jan 25, 11 at 1:40am

    best boyfriend ever.

  • Submitted by all_nighter on Jan 25, 11 at 1:03am

    oh and for all you people saying its an act or he's not a man, you've obviously never had true love. my boyfriend treats me like a princess. You dont have to be whipped to Want to treat someone like this and get the same in return.

  • Submitted by ilovewhores on Jan 24, 11 at 11:02am

    hey hitinthc i bet she wont cheat on him. so he wins....right?

  • Submitted by Wiggity on Jan 24, 11 at 3:21pm

    that dude totally cheated on her...

  • 99 58
    Submitted by MrEccles on Jan 24, 11 at 11:37pm

    Anyone thinkin.... Maybe this is a chick??

  • 90 67
    Submitted by chemi on Jan 25, 11 at 7:19am

    Most of you are sexist pigs but then again TFLN is a community of either sexist or overly bored losers so not surprising;)

  • Submitted by irishcowboy on Jan 25, 11 at 10:04am

    Here's the deal: doing lots of really nice things for this girl will get this man appreciation, and that's it. If that's all he's looking for, then he's a decent human being, and I applaud him for it. If he's trying to ingratiate himself to this woman to get sexual favors, he's a jerk, and a dumb one at that. Making a girl breakfast will not get you laid. Being attractive, having a big dick, and knowing how to use it will.

  • 71 44
    Submitted by miscellany on Jan 26, 11 at 5:00am

    it takes very little. this man is getting what he wants whenever now.

  • 88 80
    Submitted by gaterhog on Jan 25, 11 at 11:02pm

    When I first read this I totally thought he gave the cat oral o.O

  • 78 67
    Submitted by DuFF12891 on Jan 28, 11 at 2:10pm

    I used to take care of my girl like this until the bitch cheated. I fucked her bestfriend as revenge and now we're happily married! (her EX bestfriend and me :) )

  • 74 61
    Submitted by LickinChickin on Jan 26, 11 at 5:08am

    If it weren't for the area code, I'd swear this one was posted by my boyfriend. He knows how to get what he wants ;)

  • 75 64
    Submitted by lopez101 on Feb 21, 11 at 10:29am

    Respect.

  • 88 91
    Submitted by Eazy187 on Jan 26, 11 at 6:37pm

    Does she keep your testicles in a jar on her night stand as well?

  • 76 78
    Submitted by all_nighter on Jan 25, 11 at 12:59am

    Haha sounds like my boyfriend

  • 68 65
    Submitted by jrm261 on Jan 30, 11 at 8:15pm

    What time do you get your balls back?

  • Submitted by Squall on Jan 24, 11 at 12:31pm

    None of it matters. You forgot the green specks in the brownies.

  • 59 55
    Submitted by cornelius on May 2, 11 at 12:50am

    OMG I THOUGHT THIS WAS ALL ABOUT THE CAT, then reread it.

  • 64 66
    Submitted by valetta on Jan 29, 11 at 2:05am

    Worddddd.

  • 71 85
    Submitted by wafflecopter on Jan 24, 11 at 3:40pm

    Lol mccll

  • 64 74
    Submitted by asdfljk on Feb 9, 11 at 7:57pm

    time to rework your priorities nobody has pussy that good

  • 41 40
    Submitted by chinballwizard on Sep 30, 11 at 1:09pm

    U r a bitch

  • 41 43
    Submitted by chinballwizard on Sep 30, 11 at 2:10pm

    The only way you justify this is you just got caught fucking her friend last night.

  • Submitted by TBONEa on Jan 24, 11 at 11:24am

    u must want a bj badly

  • 45 52
    Submitted by chinballwizard on Sep 30, 11 at 1:12pm

    Way to many girls on this site. Some men run there house, some men run around there house( you ) whippy

  • Submitted by hitinthc1 on Jan 24, 11 at 10:52am

    Sounds like either you love her,or she's your 1st piece of ass,or you're just plain whipped. You take your pick.

  • 37 45
    Submitted by lostinalaska on Aug 30, 12 at 10:05am

    Grammar issues aside (making cats scrambled eggs?), this guy makes no mention of trying to get laid for what he does. To me, this sounds like a long-term relationship from the point of view of an awesome boyfriend. I would love to find one of my very own.

  • Submitted by spanktank on Jan 24, 11 at 8:21pm

    he forgot to mention the part where he cut off his balls and framed them in her bedroom

  • Submitted by bignaked on Jan 24, 11 at 6:20pm

    Not good..... You did that shit and there was no mention of her paying back at any point..... Slippery slope

  • Submitted by osirisfrost on Jan 24, 11 at 9:21pm

    You sir, are a bitch.

  • Submitted by Blackmane on Jan 24, 11 at 11:29am

    She'll be over you shortly. Noone likes a spineless man

  • Submitted by hacker201 on Jan 24, 11 at 11:23am

    I hope the OP is a female otherwise you need your man card revolked!

  • Submitted by leafyleafster on Jan 24, 11 at 12:15pm

    If she's not retarded, she'll know it's all an act. Good luck keeping up the charade.