Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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