Texts From Last Night · han36457's Favorites

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han36457's Favorites Texts:

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(501): View more from Arkansas

His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?

Fav 3 1029 636
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(859): View more from Kentucky

We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free

(502): View more from Kentucky

Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"

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(605): View more from South Dakota

seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?

Fav 9 1094 657
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?

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(719): View more from Colorado

I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.

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(602): View more from Arizona

$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place

Fav 1 775 481
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"

Fav 3 1182 693
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