Texts From Last Night

astens76's Favorites Texts:

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

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  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (51671) Bad night (2730) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Hello wreck, this is your train calling.

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  (315): Hello wreck, this is your train calling. http://tfl.nu/qxsk
  Replies (13) Good night (5487) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock

  (347): View more from New York

  I THOUGHT I SAW YOU

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  (917): pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock (347): I THOUGHT I SAW YOU http://tfl.nu/jrv0
  Replies (27) Good night (13346) Bad night (1966)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.

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  (636): I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend. http://tfl.nu/x4zz
  Replies (14) Good night (6328) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We stopped her at 12

  (708): View more from Illinois

  12 shots? Or 12 midnight?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Which answer would freak you out less

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  (630): We stopped her at 12 (708): 12 shots? Or 12 midnight? (630): Which answer would freak you out less http://tfl.nu/edb4
  Replies (5) Good night (5546) Bad night (759)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.

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  (360): I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels. http://tfl.nu/pla2
  Replies (12) Good night (5644) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...

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  (631): I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever... http://tfl.nu/ojc2
  Replies (25) Good night (1171) Bad night (4287) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.

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  (253): dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it. http://tfl.nu/9jbv
  Replies (17) Good night (756) Bad night (4983) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

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  (614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2
  Replies (82) Good night (33410) Bad night (1284)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  That reminds me...we need to get swords

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  (785): That reminds me...we need to get swords http://tfl.nu/9ivg
  Replies (15) Good night (6998) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.

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  (706): I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face. http://tfl.nu/e8qy
  Replies (83) Good night (17335) Bad night (1782) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.

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  (203): Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester. http://tfl.nu/4eoz
  Replies (4) Good night (6000) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

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  (501): This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower. http://tfl.nu/hbb7
  Replies (62) Good night (19376) Bad night (1456) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You going out tonight?

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.

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  (337): You going out tonight? (318): No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon. http://tfl.nu/ifio
  Replies (18) Good night (1059) Bad night (6175)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  can I come stay the night

  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, but no sex tonight

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'll stay home

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  (810): can I come stay the night (217): yeah, but no sex tonight (810): I'll stay home http://tfl.nu/tu8g
  Replies (34) Good night (2195) Bad night (7960)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Haha did she know what fisting meant?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself

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  (734): Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that. (1-734): Haha did she know what fisting meant? (734): Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself http://tfl.nu/kykk
  Replies (21) Good night (1204) Bad night (5204)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat

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  (207): dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat http://tfl.nu/ast4
  Replies (56) Good night (15626) Bad night (1471) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.

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  (330): You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox. http://tfl.nu/xeau
  Replies (42) Good night (8340) Bad night (4658) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.

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  (401): I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy. http://tfl.nu/4ar4
  Replies (38) Good night (5763) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes

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  (310): So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes http://tfl.nu/3hm9
  Replies (50) Good night (8873) Bad night (1029) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"

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  (707): he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?" http://tfl.nu/pefr
  Replies (22) Good night (5465) Bad night (2018) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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  (843): when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home. http://tfl.nu/096s
  Replies (33) Good night (12092) Bad night (1201)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I accept this challenge.

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  (410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. (301): I accept this challenge. http://tfl.nu/mbqm
  Replies (60) Good night (18539) Bad night (1686)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.

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  (+31): No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam. http://tfl.nu/gz4d
  Replies (23) Good night (11426) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day

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  (617): started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day http://tfl.nu/20xi
  Replies (14) Good night (8813) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.

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  (859): I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding. http://tfl.nu/b0qx
  Replies (17) Good night (4070) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.

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  (607): I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever. http://tfl.nu/15o8
  Replies (18) Good night (7319) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.

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  (810): I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future. http://tfl.nu/04uk
  Replies (31) Good night (1612) Bad night (6333)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal

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  (240): today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal http://tfl.nu/c4vg
  Replies (21) Good night (7907) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

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  (214): A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot. http://tfl.nu/a1lj
  Replies (65) Good night (27825) Bad night (1797) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...

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  (940): I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night... http://tfl.nu/gxgg
  Replies (10) Good night (6177) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?

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  (814): so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar? http://tfl.nu/t8an
  Replies (16) Good night (1360) Bad night (5155) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.

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  (256): so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart. http://tfl.nu/u8db
  Replies (30) Good night (7908) Bad night (976)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage

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  (438): that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage http://tfl.nu/1y6d
  Replies (12) Good night (1162) Bad night (4245) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won

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  (252): Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won http://tfl.nu/atk6
  Replies (30) Good night (13283) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.

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  (201): It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling. http://tfl.nu/90ol
  Replies (16) Good night (7087) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.

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  (618): So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in. http://tfl.nu/s63a
  Replies (39) Good night (4073) Bad night (5168) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who'd you have sex with.

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  (610): terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions. (1-610): who'd you have sex with. http://tfl.nu/97tl
  Replies (12) Good night (2110) Bad night (4032) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  Seriously?

  (305): View more from Florida

  100%

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  (305): I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox? (1-305): Seriously? (305): 100% http://tfl.nu/w2fu
  Replies (15) Good night (6651) Bad night (958)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.

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  (203): Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet. http://tfl.nu/z4ao
  Replies (24) Good night (7388) Bad night (1519) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?

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  (651): How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out? http://tfl.nu/x0y6
  Replies (22) Good night (5049) Bad night (1512) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day

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  (502): Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day http://tfl.nu/ab75
  Replies (13) Good night (898) Bad night (4700) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

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  (859): So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form. http://tfl.nu/if3v
  Replies (14) Good night (4870) Bad night (2564) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe

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  (816): Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe http://tfl.nu/ye00
  Replies (35) Good night (1131) Bad night (13740)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.

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  (815): Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself. http://tfl.nu/xo78
  Replies (40) Good night (12265) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.

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  (715): I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that. http://tfl.nu/f05r
  Replies (7) Good night (1251) Bad night (5304) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.

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  (818): im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically. http://tfl.nu/np2a
  Replies (23) Good night (1772) Bad night (6380) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"

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  (845): I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!" http://tfl.nu/kl2h
  Replies (38) Good night (19093) Bad night (1346) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people

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  (217): Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people http://tfl.nu/d4g4
  Replies (15) Good night (3285) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign

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  (856): I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign http://tfl.nu/u6cw
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  (707): View more from California

  the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.

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  (707): the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him. http://tfl.nu/x6kf
  Replies (43) Good night (4984) Bad night (1633)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.

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  (215): Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked. http://tfl.nu/7s06
  Replies (31) Good night (4003) Bad night (1865) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night

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  (831): It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night http://tfl.nu/8gcp
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.

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  (614): It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask. http://tfl.nu/r7za
  Replies (8) Good night (8025) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you

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  (412): She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you http://tfl.nu/82k6
  Replies (6) Good night (4357) Bad night (835)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"

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  (301): the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst" http://tfl.nu/u5av
  Replies (16) Good night (7640) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Right after we had the just friends talk..

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  (610): At what point last night did I start ordering doubles? (856): Right after we had the just friends talk.. http://tfl.nu/zby8
  Replies (22) Good night (992) Bad night (7176)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".

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  (401): My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets". http://tfl.nu/hqdk
  Replies (15) Good night (8467) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.

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  (815): I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed. http://tfl.nu/hsgt
  Replies (35) Good night (1646) Bad night (6584) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.

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  (937): He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face. http://tfl.nu/s86z
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"

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  (319): By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection" http://tfl.nu/gcjm
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  (845): View more from New York

  don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.

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  (845): don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified. http://tfl.nu/evog
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  (936): View more from Texas

  he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  and...?

  (936): View more from Texas

  I told him it was alright.

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  (936): he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him. (812): and...? (936): I told him it was alright. http://tfl.nu/yirn
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.

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  (702): explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now. http://tfl.nu/gc18
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I love milkshakes.

  (210): View more from Texas

  Not the point.

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  (210): I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat. (1-210): I love milkshakes. (210): Not the point. http://tfl.nu/tb5t
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  "reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.

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  (515): "reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time. http://tfl.nu/in1x
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.

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  (312): dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it. http://tfl.nu/1896
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  (714): View more from California

  i perioded on his leg

  (714): View more from California

  on. his. leg.

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  (714): i perioded on his leg (714): on. his. leg. http://tfl.nu/sr0m
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good

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  (609): just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good http://tfl.nu/q5pn
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  (917): View more from New York City

  did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?

  (914): View more from New York

  you mean faeutihaers?

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  (917): did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night? (914): you mean faeutihaers? http://tfl.nu/mcba
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  (714): View more from California

  Who was that guy you went home with?

  (1-714): View more from California

  Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.

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  (714): Who was that guy you went home with? (1-714): Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now. http://tfl.nu/q2tl
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.

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  (435): I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/6ris
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.

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  (401): She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY. http://tfl.nu/e2x6
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  (941): View more from Florida

  can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  idk, I had a turtle in mine.

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  (941): can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat? (1-941): idk, I had a turtle in mine. http://tfl.nu/ag7m
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Previous statement retracted.

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  (864): If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay. (828): Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner (864): Previous statement retracted. http://tfl.nu/e7pe
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?

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  (314): On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you? http://tfl.nu/ocb5
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Guess she heard her killer coming

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  (973): I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear. (1-973): Guess she heard her killer coming http://tfl.nu/u45m
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

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  (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s
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  (909): View more from California

  I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

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  (909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him http://tfl.nu/axwb
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.

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  (636): Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half. http://tfl.nu/fs6e
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  This house was built for laser tag.

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  (336): This house was built for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/32ag
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up

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  (828): You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up http://tfl.nu/y0oy
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.

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  (860): he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious. http://tfl.nu/rnvz
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

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  (864): So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life" http://tfl.nu/u5wp
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals

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  (954): He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals http://tfl.nu/66nw
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...

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  (717): If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one... http://tfl.nu/slb8
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  (323): View more from California

  may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.

  (818): View more from California

  First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.

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  (323): may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in. (818): First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/s5xw
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality

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  (256): A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality http://tfl.nu/65cw
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just stepped in cum. i hate you.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Thats what happens when you don't swallow.

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  (203): i just stepped in cum. i hate you. (603): Thats what happens when you don't swallow. http://tfl.nu/7phl
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.

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  (303): Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !! (832): Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless. http://tfl.nu/apa0
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

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  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Two?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Two.

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  (404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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  (802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. http://tfl.nu/87yq
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  (310): View more from California

  ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.

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  (310): ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude. http://tfl.nu/5a88
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think im pregnant

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think you have the wrong number

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  (843): I think im pregnant (803): I think you have the wrong number http://tfl.nu/a8yw
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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  (404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". http://tfl.nu/tf5y
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I hate your face

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  (816): I hate your face http://tfl.nu/3afk
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I got chris browned last night

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  (810): I got chris browned last night http://tfl.nu/zhhu
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  (914): View more from New York

  you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped

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  (914): you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped http://tfl.nu/cz84
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.

  (406): View more from Montana

  And we all know God doesn't like sinners.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Amen.

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  (701): The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out. (406): And we all know God doesn't like sinners. (701): Amen. http://tfl.nu/nq0i
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm on my period, period, period

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  (540): birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex (703): I'm on my period, period, period http://tfl.nu/vsrk
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  (858): View more from California

  you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"

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  (858): you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?" http://tfl.nu/xq6v
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.

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  (902): Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left. http://tfl.nu/ytq9
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  please don't let me die tonight

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what have you done for me lately?

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  (203): please don't let me die tonight (860): what have you done for me lately? http://tfl.nu/9vcn
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  (607): View more from New York

  The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.

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  (607): The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again. http://tfl.nu/rkzi
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you

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  (317): so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you http://tfl.nu/m0v0
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  (917) i just came from walking.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  haha you just came from walking?

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  (309): (917) i just came from walking. (309) haha you just came from walking? http://tfl.nu/6hd4
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  (516): View more from New York

  Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

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  (516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven. http://tfl.nu/hg3t
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  (561): View more from Florida

  It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.

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  (561): It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out. http://tfl.nu/g5y4
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?

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  (740): I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/jir7
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away

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  (419): Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away http://tfl.nu/g1qo
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?

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  (857): I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars? http://tfl.nu/0mdx
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.

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  (484): this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal. http://tfl.nu/sd8q
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

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  (734): The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister. http://tfl.nu/1i96
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.

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  (732): He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it. http://tfl.nu/hjdx
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  (714): View more from California

  why do cheetos always look like penises

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  (714): why do cheetos always look like penises http://tfl.nu/nqxj
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking

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  (864): i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking http://tfl.nu/q6i0
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  (831): View more from California

  Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?

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  (831): Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21? http://tfl.nu/gpnq
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  (914): View more from New York

  fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.

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  (914): fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no. http://tfl.nu/w88c
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?

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  (614): Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party? http://tfl.nu/rikb
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.

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  (416): He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed. http://tfl.nu/o4xt
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  (714): View more from California

  Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me

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  (714): Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me http://tfl.nu/5ujc
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"

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  (971): So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully" http://tfl.nu/lw3x
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  so no drinking for you?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  don't be silly

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  (615): small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party (423): so no drinking for you? (615): don't be silly http://tfl.nu/xiol
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  (347): View more from New York

  we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  go home

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  (347): we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy (203): go home http://tfl.nu/91uo
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick

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  (785): whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick http://tfl.nu/3xlh
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  (239): View more from Florida

  And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".

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  (239): And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine". http://tfl.nu/teku
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.

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  (512): Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/4hqu
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  (858): View more from California

  Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?

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  (858): Why do you apologize after every time we have sex? http://tfl.nu/3g2b
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  (850): View more from Florida

  By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever

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  (850): By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever http://tfl.nu/n0rq
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..

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  (630): You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell.. http://tfl.nu/hsjq
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.

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  (774): It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God. http://tfl.nu/c3gg
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  (727): View more from Florida

  and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.

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  (727): and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go. http://tfl.nu/b20y
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant

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  (705): dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant http://tfl.nu/i402
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  (407): View more from Florida

  she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

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  (407): she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store http://tfl.nu/25ph
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.

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  (901): She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A. http://tfl.nu/01sf
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  wtf

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?

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  (225): wtf (1-225): I'm guessing you saw the bathroom? http://tfl.nu/q0h6
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  mine is 'the'.

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  (202): so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'. (703): mine is 'the'. http://tfl.nu/v1g1
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just saw the nastiest chick.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Where?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you

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  (603): I just saw the nastiest chick. (1-603): Where? (603): woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you http://tfl.nu/hbsk
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Why is there a cactus in the microwave?

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry about it.

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  (217): Why is there a cactus in the microwave? (1-217): Don't worry about it. http://tfl.nu/f5vn
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"

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  (765): I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock" http://tfl.nu/hksp
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens

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  (217): some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens http://tfl.nu/oucj
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.

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  (614): she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you. http://tfl.nu/1wju
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

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  (780): We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna http://tfl.nu/yjmv
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie

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  (520): I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie http://tfl.nu/225r
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  nevermind....I'm on the way

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  (814): dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high (808): worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave (814): nevermind....I'm on the way http://tfl.nu/dzeu
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.

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  (843): He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name. http://tfl.nu/s3qy
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Party in the USA is so catchy!

  (863): View more from Florida

  Yea, so is AIDS.

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  (305): Party in the USA is so catchy! (863): Yea, so is AIDS. http://tfl.nu/nzzd
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

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  (208): U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!" http://tfl.nu/ttkj
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  (716): View more from New York

  fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans

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  (716): fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans http://tfl.nu/906w
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

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  (612): You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast. http://tfl.nu/3zo3
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  (661): View more from California

  Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

  (1-661): View more from California

  What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

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  (661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up. (1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how" http://tfl.nu/sghh
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem

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  (443): So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem http://tfl.nu/7afw
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  did u really fuck my little sister???

  (706): View more from Georgia

  im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"

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  (678): did u really fuck my little sister??? (706): im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess" http://tfl.nu/dz4c
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.

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  (231): bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this. (517): Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one. http://tfl.nu/v0gx
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.

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  (407): I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level. http://tfl.nu/6nqz
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Haha. Niice.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  both.

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  (479): So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack. (307): Haha. Niice. (479): Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered. (307): both. http://tfl.nu/wvm3
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
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  (510): View more from California

  I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk

  (415): View more from California

  yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts

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  (510): I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk (415): yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts http://tfl.nu/5sxt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.

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  (519): When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon. http://tfl.nu/7cpz
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  (315): View more from New York

  You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.

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  (315): You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser. http://tfl.nu/232e
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  who won?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  THAT is your concern right now?

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  (647): on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest.. (1-647): who won? (647): THAT is your concern right now? http://tfl.nu/f9cv
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?

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  (252): Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome? http://tfl.nu/vqed
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled

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  (251): I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled http://tfl.nu/uuon
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked

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  (770): I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked http://tfl.nu/iw27
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Im watching someone hooking up in the library

  (970): View more from Colorado

  procrastination at its finest

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  (307): Im watching someone hooking up in the library (970): procrastination at its finest http://tfl.nu/d7sa
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  (626): View more from California

  Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game

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  (626): Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game http://tfl.nu/ygf5
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  (818): View more from California

  Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.

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  (818): Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical. http://tfl.nu/onyl
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  You are an asshole

  (574): View more from Indiana

  haha sleeping beauty awakes.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Where did you find this costume?

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  (616): You are an asshole (574): haha sleeping beauty awakes. (616): Where did you find this costume? http://tfl.nu/m4ai
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  (518): View more from New York

  alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  dude. you drew those with your dick

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  (518): alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from? (1-518): dude. you drew those with your dick http://tfl.nu/4t0i
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  (407): View more from Florida

  sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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  (407): sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch. http://tfl.nu/v1iz
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  (631): View more from New York

  woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?

  (516): View more from New York

  you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."

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  (631): woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain? (516): you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food." http://tfl.nu/33sl
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  "Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.

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  (913): "Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/szr3
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.

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  (678): he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy. http://tfl.nu/gv2k
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