Texts From Last Night · sethaaron's Favorites

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sethaaron's Favorites Texts:

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(307): View more from Wyoming

It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"

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(810): View more from Michigan

Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.

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(714): View more from California

Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

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(914): View more from New York

You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.

(517): View more from Michigan

We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by

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(541): View more from Oregon

at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww

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