Texts From Last Night · misskristen's Favorites

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misskristen's Favorites Texts:

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes

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(704): View more from North Carolina

My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.

(716): View more from New York

The apple don't fall far from that tree.

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(314): View more from Missouri

The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.

(816): View more from Missouri

Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?

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