Texts From Last Night

carlyjo12's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/pqr9
  Replies (5) Good night (2491) Bad night (1491) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots" http://tfl.nu/28dj
  Replies (12) Good night (5295) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working. http://tfl.nu/9tde
  Replies (43) Good night (7819) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early http://tfl.nu/4ftf
  Replies (62) Good night (6919) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe. http://tfl.nu/z3x3
  Replies (43) Good night (7755) Bad night (1774) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay http://tfl.nu/s2rn
  Replies (65) Good night (20502) Bad night (1811) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang". http://tfl.nu/9dw0
  Replies (67) Good night (25464) Bad night (1184) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house. http://tfl.nu/pura
  Replies (50) Good night (3162) Bad night (5452) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport. http://tfl.nu/vfi8
  Replies (26) Good night (3728) Bad night (1720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things. http://tfl.nu/13io
  Replies (35) Good night (8098) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ivw8
  Replies (32) Good night (17587) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets." http://tfl.nu/13ll
  Replies (17) Good night (7427) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis. http://tfl.nu/xpx8
  Replies (9) Good night (1515) Bad night (4578) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick http://tfl.nu/778x
  Replies (69) Good night (14277) Bad night (3600) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!" http://tfl.nu/vlcz
  Replies (46) Good night (15962) Bad night (1068) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper (952): Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it? http://tfl.nu/ydx5
  Replies (9) Good night (734) Bad night (3695)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this". http://tfl.nu/puns
  Replies (39) Good night (8227) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams. http://tfl.nu/ox7r
  Replies (47) Good night (10588) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.

  (210): View more from Texas

  i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass" (570): hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge. (210): i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you. http://tfl.nu/8941
  Replies (23) Good night (5443) Bad night (1621)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now http://tfl.nu/39yk
  Replies (82) Good night (26528) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up. http://tfl.nu/tbqv
  Replies (18) Good night (1108) Bad night (3659) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark. http://tfl.nu/009s
  Replies (44) Good night (7435) Bad night (1934) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus. http://tfl.nu/kpmf
  Replies (26) Good night (8884) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born http://tfl.nu/de9t
  Replies (17) Good night (1558) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood. http://tfl.nu/qlw2
  Replies (18) Good night (6497) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS. http://tfl.nu/pf4u
  Replies (58) Good night (14607) Bad night (1479) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!" http://tfl.nu/hob5
  Replies (12) Good night (5379) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person. http://tfl.nu/pbus
  Replies (18) Good night (4978) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way http://tfl.nu/xurx
  Replies (12) Good night (7172) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car. http://tfl.nu/srqw
  Replies (38) Good night (10934) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking. http://tfl.nu/uq3n
  Replies (47) Good night (6454) Bad night (1364) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...? http://tfl.nu/n1uy
  Replies (183) Good night (5455) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". http://tfl.nu/tf5y
  Replies (386) Good night (40792) Bad night (3880)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever. http://tfl.nu/jepg
  Replies (8) Good night (2995) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina" http://tfl.nu/xi2d
  Replies (19) Good night (2670) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink. http://tfl.nu/ugbw
  Replies (60) Good night (13707) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee. http://tfl.nu/oz8w
  Replies (20) Good night (4215) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/uwj0
  Replies (18) Good night (5897) Bad night (1226) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now. http://tfl.nu/744a
  Replies (24) Good night (5636) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms... http://tfl.nu/vz7o
  Replies (27) Good night (1604) Bad night (2216) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along. http://tfl.nu/kf9k
  Replies (34) Good night (8960) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112195) Bad night (9722) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long

  (917): View more from New York City

  Thats what she said

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long (917): Thats what she said http://tfl.nu/ke6j
  Replies (13) Good night (1811) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches... http://tfl.nu/6ywp
  Replies (47) Good night (8045) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. http://tfl.nu/4wgk
  Replies (45) Good night (28342) Bad night (1968) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am. http://tfl.nu/33o2
  Replies (61) Good night (30524) Bad night (1218) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat. http://tfl.nu/eo6a
  Replies (28) Good night (7737) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big." http://tfl.nu/onws
  Replies (11) Good night (3025) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven. http://tfl.nu/hg3t
  Replies (280) Good night (54018) Bad night (4398) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73365) Bad night (2463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows. http://tfl.nu/2kv7
  Replies (17) Good night (4568) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever http://tfl.nu/sgij
  Replies (86) Good night (2977) Bad night (15017)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling. http://tfl.nu/zskd
  Replies (14) Good night (7077) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night. http://tfl.nu/6lcj
  Replies (39) Good night (1215) Bad night (7516) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now http://tfl.nu/leuk
  Replies (13) Good night (4282) Bad night (1418) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle. http://tfl.nu/baj8
  Replies (52) Good night (2180) Bad night (7716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos. http://tfl.nu/b1xi
  Replies (22) Good night (1009) Bad night (3956) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. http://tfl.nu/ux00
  Replies (16) Good night (5567) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns http://tfl.nu/88xb
  Replies (16) Good night (1386) Bad night (5514) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (184) Good night (51557) Bad night (2261)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room? http://tfl.nu/bp9i
  Replies (14) Good night (4825) Bad night (2180) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave? http://tfl.nu/y6y0
  Replies (17) Good night (4653) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners." (423): Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A. (814): No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay. http://tfl.nu/o5wb
  Replies (23) Good night (9227) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock... (1-816): Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it. http://tfl.nu/66g0
  Replies (35) Good night (12173) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library. http://tfl.nu/ghke
  Replies (34) Good night (6767) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o54g
  Replies (36) Good night (12586) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit http://tfl.nu/61qr
  Replies (13) Good night (6550) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket. http://tfl.nu/pclq
  Replies (13) Good night (5759) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride http://tfl.nu/4fyt
  Replies (34) Good night (20271) Bad night (1529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now http://tfl.nu/8cl1
  Replies (9) Good night (1353) Bad night (4444) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast. http://tfl.nu/8b17
  Replies (11) Good night (5248) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66701) Bad night (2995) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Jealous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls. (573): Jealous. http://tfl.nu/6b8u
  Replies (9) Good night (3670) Bad night (1592)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything. http://tfl.nu/pmpx
  Replies (76) Good night (27521) Bad night (1598)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat http://tfl.nu/j8dy
  Replies (20) Good night (5171) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  one two three fourrrrnication!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): one two three fourrrrnication! http://tfl.nu/2jpj
  Replies (4) Good night (3539) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out http://tfl.nu/t2x9
  Replies (42) Good night (10740) Bad night (1139) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands? http://tfl.nu/6ufe
  Replies (34) Good night (2191) Bad night (2949) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!

  (818): View more from California

  A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?

  (805): View more from California

  CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT! (818): A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie? (805): CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT http://tfl.nu/znee
  Replies (21) Good night (5308) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night. http://tfl.nu/2trw
  Replies (47) Good night (8372) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles. http://tfl.nu/duc8
  Replies (37) Good night (10537) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again. http://tfl.nu/1fxb
  Replies (27) Good night (1131) Bad night (7494) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels. http://tfl.nu/zmdk
  Replies (10) Good night (877) Bad night (1377) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song http://tfl.nu/c63n
  Replies (19) Good night (4729) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet. (919): That explains the puddle of pee in my closet. http://tfl.nu/tfvg
  Replies (7) Good night (1048) Bad night (5161)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker" http://tfl.nu/30jj
  Replies (44) Good night (17876) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan http://tfl.nu/otnu
  Replies (44) Good night (6268) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag http://tfl.nu/fc0e
  Replies (134) Good night (1329) Bad night (4804)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Toaster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you? (316): Toaster http://tfl.nu/fbwm
  Replies (48) Good night (25456) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx
  Replies (110) Good night (50595) Bad night (1662) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess. http://tfl.nu/8pax
  Replies (47) Good night (4663) Bad night (1257) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out

  (607): View more from New York

  what a beautiful fairy tale

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out (607): what a beautiful fairy tale http://tfl.nu/50v3
  Replies (33) Good night (10657) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels (1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know http://tfl.nu/7nn4
  Replies (33) Good night (2858) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?" http://tfl.nu/96xf
  Replies (133) Good night (1523) Bad night (4848) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !

  (1-716): View more from New York

  How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today ! (1-716): How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...' http://tfl.nu/v4tn
  Replies (48) Good night (9294) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them http://tfl.nu/8aam
  Replies (40) Good night (16419) Bad night (2034) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist http://tfl.nu/hzre
  Replies (51) Good night (24079) Bad night (1572) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa http://tfl.nu/4mlw
  Replies (79) Good night (13897) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open." http://tfl.nu/m5a9
  Replies (26) Good night (5070) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture. http://tfl.nu/15y7
  Replies (36) Good night (12413) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life. http://tfl.nu/ggva
  Replies (14) Good night (8387) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself. http://tfl.nu/6r98
  Replies (27) Good night (11064) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it. http://tfl.nu/t9xf
  Replies (30) Good night (19811) Bad night (1246) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong. http://tfl.nu/ln52
  Replies (29) Good night (9142) Bad night (1309) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo. http://tfl.nu/dtd1
  Replies (22) Good night (1159) Bad night (5279)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him

  (313): View more from Michigan

  at least he gets points for a creative booty call

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him (313): at least he gets points for a creative booty call http://tfl.nu/28qp
  Replies (16) Good night (7208) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me. http://tfl.nu/fshf
  Replies (24) Good night (8758) Bad night (1918) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?! http://tfl.nu/vv8e
  Replies (26) Good night (12318) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna. http://tfl.nu/vetf
  Replies (42) Good night (2191) Bad night (7045)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.

  (786): View more from Florida

  How high are you right now..

  (305): View more from Florida

  I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind. (786): How high are you right now.. (305): I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT. http://tfl.nu/q5i7
  Replies (29) Good night (10149) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now. http://tfl.nu/wxpj
  Replies (35) Good night (15098) Bad night (1257) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142131) Bad night (9309) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (491) Good night (133066) Bad night (5764)