Texts From Last Night · omgitsrenee's Favorites

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omgitsrenee's Favorites Texts:

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(515): View more from Iowa

Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.

Fav 19 1482 9480
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(954): View more from Florida

I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.

Fav 28 5674 1945
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(714): View more from California

Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.

Fav 18 6949 1400
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(727): View more from Florida

You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.

Fav 22 1506 5547
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(406): View more from Montana

She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.

(409): View more from Texas

That was definitely the right answer.

Fav 19 7180 1590
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(317): View more from Indiana

Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.

(614): View more from Ohio

Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money

Fav 27 7191 1866
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.

Fav 56 9403 1992
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