Texts From Last Night

ColoroutofSpacr's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages. http://tfl.nu/1djk
  Replies (27) Good night (1150) Bad night (7081) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected. http://tfl.nu/i708
  Replies (17) Good night (4883) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  dude how high are you right now?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground. (1-256): dude how high are you right now? (256): do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves. http://tfl.nu/7ihc
  Replies (40) Good night (11547) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Well it worked

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Not the point

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind (1-330): Well it worked (330): Not the point http://tfl.nu/mxs7
  Replies (21) Good night (5923) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's shedding

  (1-912): View more from Georgia

  I told you penises don't tan

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): It's shedding (1-912): I told you penises don't tan http://tfl.nu/7fx9
  Replies (43) Good night (1275) Bad night (10035) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/envk
  Replies (9) Good night (1191) Bad night (5094) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins. http://tfl.nu/qxz4
  Replies (39) Good night (8272) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob http://tfl.nu/rxex
  Replies (22) Good night (893) Bad night (11543) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout? http://tfl.nu/0knj
  Replies (24) Good night (5657) Bad night (2267) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist http://tfl.nu/26ue
  Replies (6) Good night (4838) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it. http://tfl.nu/iun7
  Replies (15) Good night (1677) Bad night (3875) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  "Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): "Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move http://tfl.nu/qn14
  Replies (10) Good night (1000) Bad night (3171) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again. http://tfl.nu/0sqv
  Replies (23) Good night (1406) Bad night (4674)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter. http://tfl.nu/ujkx
  Replies (6) Good night (8736) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting. http://tfl.nu/7l1r
  Replies (13) Good night (4367) Bad night (1260) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion http://tfl.nu/8885
  Replies (12) Good night (2096) Bad night (4030) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable. http://tfl.nu/q51j
  Replies (31) Good night (6715) Bad night (1151) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well. http://tfl.nu/7lfy
  Replies (20) Good night (7278) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Do I even want to know?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend. (1-480): Do I even want to know? http://tfl.nu/wopv
  Replies (28) Good night (4438) Bad night (1615) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets. http://tfl.nu/gp9t
  Replies (21) Good night (8150) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew. http://tfl.nu/qfs0
  Replies (35) Good night (8247) Bad night (1749) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place http://tfl.nu/sgjx
  Replies (30) Good night (12372) Bad night (1251) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate. http://tfl.nu/1mwi
  Replies (14) Good night (1121) Bad night (4503) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats.. http://tfl.nu/8g2i
  Replies (19) Good night (1307) Bad night (4240) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  The beer is more important than you right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): The beer is more important than you right now. http://tfl.nu/guwa
  Replies (8) Good night (3464) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage http://tfl.nu/vsxr
  Replies (13) Good night (4621) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night http://tfl.nu/5q0r
  Replies (10) Good night (8232) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone http://tfl.nu/koze
  Replies (36) Good night (2476) Bad night (5105) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits http://tfl.nu/a8f8
  Replies (15) Good night (5030) Bad night (1183) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Really.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b
  Replies (101) Good night (10182) Bad night (2839)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list http://tfl.nu/ucvs
  Replies (40) Good night (1433) Bad night (13795) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet. http://tfl.nu/v8co
  Replies (11) Good night (4835) Bad night (1018) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron. http://tfl.nu/58sn
  Replies (21) Good night (8882) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
  Replies (156) Good night (6831) Bad night (40851)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me. http://tfl.nu/uo6c
  Replies (111) Good night (2244) Bad night (35698) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf http://tfl.nu/h3mw
  Replies (33) Good night (1876) Bad night (5930) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Don't EVER smell your tampon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): Don't EVER smell your tampon http://tfl.nu/zvwb
  Replies (89) Good night (1257) Bad night (19323) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat? http://tfl.nu/hd1u
  Replies (56) Good night (6826) Bad night (1940) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed! http://tfl.nu/axg9
  Replies (16) Good night (1047) Bad night (4837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  grab my backpack.....its in the fridge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): grab my backpack.....its in the fridge http://tfl.nu/prjt
  Replies (19) Good night (7760) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch http://tfl.nu/zban
  Replies (28) Good night (8610) Bad night (1202) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs http://tfl.nu/4ami
  Replies (26) Good night (6271) Bad night (1323) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song. http://tfl.nu/qyok
  Replies (22) Good night (3192) Bad night (3146) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube. http://tfl.nu/etlx
  Replies (16) Good night (5118) Bad night (1196) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  this study room smells like vodka

  (310): View more from California

  the study room thinks the same about you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): this study room smells like vodka (310): the study room thinks the same about you http://tfl.nu/w62g
  Replies (16) Good night (6147) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle. http://tfl.nu/juw9
  Replies (25) Good night (6688) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down. http://tfl.nu/a74v
  Replies (27) Good night (7181) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday. http://tfl.nu/86uh
  Replies (42) Good night (11396) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/ot2w
  Replies (41) Good night (5587) Bad night (1550) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her http://tfl.nu/ofex
  Replies (65) Good night (13631) Bad night (2580) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about. http://tfl.nu/gd5e
  Replies (43) Good night (1146) Bad night (9002) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  I ordered a moonbounce.

  (813): View more from Florida

  Fuck, you win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party. (1-813): I ordered a moonbounce. (813): Fuck, you win. http://tfl.nu/qedv
  Replies (39) Good night (10257) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer? http://tfl.nu/a07e
  Replies (20) Good night (6397) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again http://tfl.nu/jwo1
  Replies (19) Good night (5484) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian? http://tfl.nu/oazh
  Replies (42) Good night (10125) Bad night (1109) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina http://tfl.nu/awuu
  Replies (30) Good night (832) Bad night (7578) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home. http://tfl.nu/xzym
  Replies (13) Good night (6186) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter http://tfl.nu/pr4p
  Replies (22) Good night (4233) Bad night (1103) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM. http://tfl.nu/ou48
  Replies (33) Good night (1432) Bad night (4930) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back http://tfl.nu/xz4y
  Replies (15) Good night (1231) Bad night (4277) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn. http://tfl.nu/8enu
  Replies (13) Good night (730) Bad night (3903) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on http://tfl.nu/30zy
  Replies (38) Good night (2372) Bad night (7591) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with. http://tfl.nu/f7yk
  Replies (11) Good night (5872) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse. http://tfl.nu/0lkw
  Replies (22) Good night (7894) Bad night (1495) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab http://tfl.nu/wqq0
  Replies (24) Good night (5262) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Its weird to pet your cat with a boner

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  What the fuck?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Its weird to pet your cat with a boner (1-406): What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/9pm4
  Replies (48) Good night (1921) Bad night (8568) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I can tuck mytits in my pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I can tuck mytits in my pants http://tfl.nu/5g26
  Replies (27) Good night (388) Bad night (2539) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house" http://tfl.nu/wkle
  Replies (13) Good night (1193) Bad night (8514) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal? http://tfl.nu/dwfw
  Replies (20) Good night (1232) Bad night (4034) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird. http://tfl.nu/xcpk
  Replies (46) Good night (1083) Bad night (9561) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free. http://tfl.nu/j1zd
  Replies (20) Good night (8316) Bad night (1109) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that. http://tfl.nu/1tq2
  Replies (39) Good night (3311) Bad night (5386) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat. http://tfl.nu/q9lv
  Replies (17) Good night (4728) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking." http://tfl.nu/oftj
  Replies (17) Good night (7733) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver. http://tfl.nu/uqq7
  Replies (10) Good night (3506) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed. http://tfl.nu/819f
  Replies (26) Good night (10995) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket. http://tfl.nu/pclq
  Replies (13) Good night (5769) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels http://tfl.nu/84kp
  Replies (16) Good night (1126) Bad night (5259) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits" http://tfl.nu/79pd
  Replies (40) Good night (11170) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel. http://tfl.nu/fcxh
  Replies (21) Good night (4590) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I have another pimple on my ass cheek.

  (420): View more from

  I'll be there in 10 minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I have another pimple on my ass cheek. (420): I'll be there in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/3vda
  Replies (25) Good night (1003) Bad night (7878)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card http://tfl.nu/wy4z
  Replies (19) Good night (5668) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock... (1-816): Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it. http://tfl.nu/66g0
  Replies (35) Good night (12202) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse. http://tfl.nu/4gmt
  Replies (35) Good night (9972) Bad night (3049) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on http://tfl.nu/5tgi
  Replies (43) Good night (9408) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  hows the party?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ists fjcssing insceredle

  (913): View more from Kansas

  be there in 10

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): hows the party? (816): ists fjcssing insceredle (913): be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/innz
  Replies (61) Good night (26650) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh

  (1-219): View more from Indiana

  wow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh (1-219): wow. http://tfl.nu/be02
  Replies (38) Good night (6498) Bad night (2724) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night? http://tfl.nu/z8ke
  Replies (22) Good night (8600) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom. http://tfl.nu/gaio
  Replies (32) Good night (3156) Bad night (5721) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened... http://tfl.nu/unry
  Replies (66) Good night (25166) Bad night (2668) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it. http://tfl.nu/e919
  Replies (20) Good night (7666) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order" http://tfl.nu/htwe
  Replies (18) Good night (12678) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene. http://tfl.nu/fj0l
  Replies (38) Good night (6179) Bad night (1855) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth. http://tfl.nu/6w2r
  Replies (26) Good night (1500) Bad night (7477) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy" http://tfl.nu/dlxe
  Replies (40) Good night (1723) Bad night (3736) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police

  (616): View more from Michigan

  What?!?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police (616): What?!? (810): What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police http://tfl.nu/unre
  Replies (20) Good night (4453) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I queefed so loud it echoed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): I queefed so loud it echoed. http://tfl.nu/ujmt
  Replies (56) Good night (1907) Bad night (10747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Chicken burrito, or no deal.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Is that code for my vagina?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Chicken burrito, or no deal. (1-402): Is that code for my vagina? (402): Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito http://tfl.nu/ldfv
  Replies (30) Good night (4140) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch http://tfl.nu/y65i
  Replies (78) Good night (12387) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me. http://tfl.nu/bzyr
  Replies (49) Good night (783) Bad night (6580) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it. http://tfl.nu/mzwz
  Replies (40) Good night (5269) Bad night (1355) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just stepped in cum. i hate you.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Thats what happens when you don't swallow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): i just stepped in cum. i hate you. (603): Thats what happens when you don't swallow. http://tfl.nu/7phl
  Replies (86) Good night (9356) Bad night (2710)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea http://tfl.nu/o6ch
  Replies (28) Good night (1220) Bad night (3758) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers http://tfl.nu/mvp5
  Replies (30) Good night (7767) Bad night (1125) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me". http://tfl.nu/jl9f
  Replies (210) Good night (31754) Bad night (2872)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?" http://tfl.nu/xq6v
  Replies (43) Good night (8556) Bad night (1265) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Got a toothbrush?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Got a toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/c7ae
  Replies (7) Good night (1882) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  what?

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn (952): what? (612): i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn http://tfl.nu/vdma
  Replies (29) Good night (7622) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap
  Replies (358) Good night (59270) Bad night (7159) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Tie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet (908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building (201): Tie http://tfl.nu/a5wy
  Replies (97) Good night (43691) Bad night (1479)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the red head has a bf

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score http://tfl.nu/bdta
  Replies (118) Good night (45004) Bad night (3407) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66809) Bad night (3032) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (152) Good night (65498) Bad night (3464)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am? http://tfl.nu/ppdn
  Replies (116) Good night (65563) Bad night (3923) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude. http://tfl.nu/zgqp
  Replies (87) Good night (25784) Bad night (4408)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong. http://tfl.nu/ln52
  Replies (29) Good night (9160) Bad night (1327) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes http://tfl.nu/cr2r
  Replies (54) Good night (2664) Bad night (5910) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk. http://tfl.nu/sxlu
  Replies (11) Good night (1012) Bad night (5093) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out http://tfl.nu/mqff
  Replies (16) Good night (1766) Bad night (5693) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila. http://tfl.nu/o38m
  Replies (36) Good night (1207) Bad night (6169) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!" http://tfl.nu/l7i0
  Replies (6) Good night (5669) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it. http://tfl.nu/duoc
  Replies (37) Good night (3342) Bad night (4587) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP http://tfl.nu/kebb
  Replies (19) Good night (5160) Bad night (2506) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.

  (786): View more from Florida

  How high are you right now..

  (305): View more from Florida

  I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind. (786): How high are you right now.. (305): I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT. http://tfl.nu/q5i7
  Replies (29) Good night (10173) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe. http://tfl.nu/z3x3
  Replies (43) Good night (7769) Bad night (1791) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again http://tfl.nu/a301
  Replies (7) Good night (3469) Bad night (1281) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing http://tfl.nu/0l5a
  Replies (15) Good night (1016) Bad night (4005) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results... http://tfl.nu/tn0b
  Replies (14) Good night (1011) Bad night (7696) Order T-Shirt