Texts From Last Night

bananasxd's Favorites Texts:

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?

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  (517): My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school? http://tfl.nu/rw32
  Replies (62) Good night (798) Bad night (4125) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it

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  (509): i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it http://tfl.nu/wiu8
  Replies (29) Good night (6811) Bad night (1113)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks

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  (631): I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks http://tfl.nu/hotd
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.

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  (215): just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break. http://tfl.nu/9me9
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66699) Bad night (2994) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.

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  (443): I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck. http://tfl.nu/69rd
  Replies (17) Good night (7703) Bad night (1906) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me

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  (661): I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me http://tfl.nu/2y9m
  Replies (25) Good night (11031) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.

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  (860): i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty. http://tfl.nu/tep7
  Replies (30) Good night (14478) Bad night (1047)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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  (617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again. http://tfl.nu/qw6q
  Replies (50) Good night (19640) Bad night (1992) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb

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  (503): gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb http://tfl.nu/zgfq
  Replies (24) Good night (4187) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes

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  (713): I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes http://tfl.nu/wjig
  Replies (41) Good night (5182) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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  (773): Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up. http://tfl.nu/ll85
  Replies (7) Good night (5861) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.

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  (413): you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006. http://tfl.nu/ojn9
  Replies (8) Good night (1465) Bad night (4695)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.

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  (902): If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I. http://tfl.nu/orkf
  Replies (37) Good night (8265) Bad night (1265) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno

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  (727): We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno http://tfl.nu/ajny
  Replies (12) Good night (3712) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

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  (307): first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester. http://tfl.nu/skng
  Replies (14) Good night (5861) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song

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  (804): i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song http://tfl.nu/watz
  Replies (29) Good night (3962) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.

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  (859): I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college. http://tfl.nu/f01w
  Replies (9) Good night (4560) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.

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  (615): My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed. http://tfl.nu/zn3p
  Replies (22) Good night (5086) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.

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  (520): Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already. http://tfl.nu/ffp6
  Replies (18) Good night (4684) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from

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  (973): my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from http://tfl.nu/ptif
  Replies (69) Good night (7448) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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  (506): I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer? (902): the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka. http://tfl.nu/rxlv
  Replies (16) Good night (10232) Bad night (975)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

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  (520): The world would be so much better with thought bubbles. http://tfl.nu/emrq
  Replies (9) Good night (5110) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm going to rape someone's good day.

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  (253): I'm going to rape someone's good day. http://tfl.nu/to10
  Replies (14) Good night (3607) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...

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  (516): Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me... http://tfl.nu/nenj
  Replies (13) Good night (7893) Bad night (1097) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years

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  (609): It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years http://tfl.nu/cjjj
  Replies (27) Good night (8384) Bad night (1499)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone

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  (219): By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone http://tfl.nu/czmq
  Replies (8) Good night (3961) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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  (404): I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life. http://tfl.nu/huxl
  Replies (168) Good night (5737) Bad night (6574) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.

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  (315): So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/ibfv
  Replies (124) Good night (42316) Bad night (1223) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.

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  (706): Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't. http://tfl.nu/ol3k
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.

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  (678): I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head. http://tfl.nu/4u7e
  Replies (44) Good night (7108) Bad night (1602) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.

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  (740): Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/hc6j
  Replies (17) Good night (2518) Bad night (1172) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.

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  (208): aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it. http://tfl.nu/sbum
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  (207): View more from Maine

  reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face

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  (207): reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face http://tfl.nu/zdhw
  Replies (52) Good night (8546) Bad night (1172) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

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  (724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am. http://tfl.nu/33o2
  Replies (61) Good night (30523) Bad night (1215) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  People with herpes should wear stickers.

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  (281): People with herpes should wear stickers. http://tfl.nu/8ji1
  Replies (50) Good night (824) Bad night (3483) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?

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  (503): do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out? http://tfl.nu/q9ps
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  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (184) Good night (51550) Bad night (2258)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.

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  (513): sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces. http://tfl.nu/5w4e
  Replies (16) Good night (6728) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo

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  (978): so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo http://tfl.nu/rg6x
  Replies (36) Good night (5913) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Letd wlk him

  (714): View more from California

  Lrtd walek hime

  (714): View more from California

  Lets wlk home,,,ther we go

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  (714): Letd wlk him (714): Lrtd walek hime (714): Lets wlk home,,,ther we go http://tfl.nu/cege
  Replies (32) Good night (4860) Bad night (608)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.

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  (540): my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited. http://tfl.nu/8ftm
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

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  (781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd
  Replies (127) Good night (127052) Bad night (2826) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite

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  (530): I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite http://tfl.nu/1k7e
  Replies (45) Good night (18931) Bad night (1103) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"

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  (518): you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!" http://tfl.nu/jby7
  Replies (37) Good night (18477) Bad night (1057) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.

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  (434): I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents. http://tfl.nu/eibu
  Replies (18) Good night (637) Bad night (5777) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..

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  (314): Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is.. http://tfl.nu/1wrs
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.

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  (610): it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again. http://tfl.nu/0grs
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up

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  (301): i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up http://tfl.nu/1cet
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.

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  (574): Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better. http://tfl.nu/c7ty
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.

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  (609): this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef. http://tfl.nu/eg87
  Replies (12) Good night (990) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?

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  (541): Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works? http://tfl.nu/8nc6
  Replies (26) Good night (967) Bad night (5465) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

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  (215): I cont stop tolking in a british axsent http://tfl.nu/j2m9
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  (909): View more from California

  I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.

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  (909): I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice. http://tfl.nu/z7v3
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much

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  (248): today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much http://tfl.nu/3dmn
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I think my check liver light just came on

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  (906): Dude, I think my check liver light just came on http://tfl.nu/539i
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  (845): View more from New York

  I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.

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  (845): I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet. http://tfl.nu/36t1
  Replies (32) Good night (1972) Bad night (6345) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy

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  (814): i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45 (773): Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy http://tfl.nu/wt4o
  Replies (7) Good night (3378) Bad night (812)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.

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  (812): she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying. http://tfl.nu/q1xu
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I too understand the importance of cheesy bread

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  (215): I too understand the importance of cheesy bread http://tfl.nu/p013
  Replies (22) Good night (3961) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".

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  (760): For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad". http://tfl.nu/gpn1
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  (949): View more from California

  We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations

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  (949): We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations http://tfl.nu/lsw6
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...

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  (413): I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM... http://tfl.nu/mwn4
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  (347): View more from New York

  Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.

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  (347): Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account. http://tfl.nu/m8a3
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