Texts From Last Night

WEAZEL1201's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would do horrible things to your vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Prove it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3
  Replies (182) Good night (93444) Bad night (4587)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (301) Good night (100278) Bad night (5707)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him http://tfl.nu/axwb
  Replies (165) Good night (90201) Bad night (3862) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd
  Replies (127) Good night (127052) Bad night (2827) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more http://tfl.nu/zuqw
  Replies (203) Good night (116765) Bad night (3272) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true http://tfl.nu/y8hf
  Replies (409) Good night (103617) Bad night (9396) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. http://tfl.nu/sr4z
  Replies (383) Good night (128359) Bad night (4038) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (491) Good night (133055) Bad night (5761)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168213) Bad night (42144) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (485) Good night (172988) Bad night (6892) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened. http://tfl.nu/0eyi
  Replies (10) Good night (862) Bad night (5165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date. http://tfl.nu/f1nk
  Replies (8) Good night (757) Bad night (5078) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before. http://tfl.nu/t0my
  Replies (21) Good night (869) Bad night (5768) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/54bi
  Replies (14) Good night (1119) Bad night (3732) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side http://tfl.nu/owir
  Replies (24) Good night (1175) Bad night (7480) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think. http://tfl.nu/f6ax
  Replies (26) Good night (5265) Bad night (1421) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified. http://tfl.nu/adq0
  Replies (14) Good night (1358) Bad night (5368)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home. http://tfl.nu/xzym
  Replies (13) Good night (6166) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's. http://tfl.nu/kqcw
  Replies (10) Good night (4073) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad. http://tfl.nu/rfuh
  Replies (25) Good night (2015) Bad night (6046) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter http://tfl.nu/pr4p
  Replies (22) Good night (4223) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me http://tfl.nu/id49
  Replies (14) Good night (4189) Bad night (1310) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class. http://tfl.nu/7p98
  Replies (26) Good night (2546) Bad night (4482) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life. http://tfl.nu/p0ex
  Replies (16) Good night (5663) Bad night (1381) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian? http://tfl.nu/oazh
  Replies (42) Good night (10103) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again" http://tfl.nu/ygm1
  Replies (12) Good night (7354) Bad night (1764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket http://tfl.nu/krhl
  Replies (14) Good night (2512) Bad night (3731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient. http://tfl.nu/2q61
  Replies (22) Good night (5109) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix. http://tfl.nu/qngr
  Replies (63) Good night (4735) Bad night (1711) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go http://tfl.nu/7nhi
  Replies (4) Good night (3024) Bad night (1047) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you. http://tfl.nu/pv3c
  Replies (9) Good night (7351) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love http://tfl.nu/lok4
  Replies (47) Good night (3292) Bad night (7368) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I accept this challenge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. (301): I accept this challenge. http://tfl.nu/mbqm
  Replies (60) Good night (18539) Bad night (1686)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck. http://tfl.nu/ofvx
  Replies (11) Good night (6864) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch. http://tfl.nu/0vl7
  Replies (74) Good night (3155) Bad night (7702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame? http://tfl.nu/lhf6
  Replies (16) Good night (3015) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name http://tfl.nu/36j9
  Replies (4) Good night (3146) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her. http://tfl.nu/wlqs
  Replies (26) Good night (4955) Bad night (1115) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas. http://tfl.nu/lamz
  Replies (41) Good night (4431) Bad night (7238) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment http://tfl.nu/rjpv
  Replies (13) Good night (5105) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go http://tfl.nu/uzsa
  Replies (27) Good night (5236) Bad night (1185) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!? http://tfl.nu/iolx
  Replies (39) Good night (11322) Bad night (1425) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint. http://tfl.nu/r0bi
  Replies (25) Good night (5673) Bad night (2729) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..

  (1-619): View more from California

  I am not bailing you of of jail

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now.. (1-619): I am not bailing you of of jail http://tfl.nu/exjk
  Replies (19) Good night (6230) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre http://tfl.nu/3hgx
  Replies (20) Good night (6875) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class http://tfl.nu/440m
  Replies (29) Good night (9929) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  that's your solution for everything

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best (1-773): that's your solution for everything http://tfl.nu/v8le
  Replies (36) Good night (6997) Bad night (1133) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  ..i think i can hear you losing your virginity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): ..i think i can hear you losing your virginity http://tfl.nu/nv6r
  Replies (17) Good night (8236) Bad night (1649) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/utqj
  Replies (35) Good night (8158) Bad night (1236) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child http://tfl.nu/48ux
  Replies (31) Good night (7838) Bad night (1333) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator http://tfl.nu/8mwn
  Replies (32) Good night (11771) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/juwj
  Replies (25) Good night (9976) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  True romance of the 21st century.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too. (1-410): True romance of the 21st century. http://tfl.nu/laza
  Replies (62) Good night (13043) Bad night (1092)