Texts From Last Night · Topanga053's Favorites

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Topanga053's Favorites Texts:

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(970): View more from Colorado

Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????

(781): View more from Massachusetts

5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

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