Texts From Last Night · johnnymerse83's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

johnnymerse83's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Guess she heard her killer coming

Fav 117 48524 2761
share tweet
(818): View more from California

The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.

Fav 3 1501 563
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

Fav 131 21203 2956
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson

Fav 0 743 559
share tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(304): View more from West Virginia

I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus

Fav 12 2061 858
share tweet
(212): View more from New York

He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color

Fav 4 500 735
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(661): View more from California

the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.

Fav 74 42079 1692
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels

Fav 5 1362 636
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT