Texts From Last Night · Xertadew's Favorites

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Xertadew's Favorites Texts:

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(206): View more from Washington

She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.

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(269): View more from Michigan

its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"

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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

(732): View more from New Jersey

like it was yesterday

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever

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(330): View more from Ohio

just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.

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(806): View more from Texas

with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay

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