Texts From Last Night

jbubbya's Favorites Texts:

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  (661): View more from California

  She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro

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  (661): She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro http://tfl.nu/m8rk
  Replies (31) Good night (992) Bad night (5865) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger

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  (661): His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger http://tfl.nu/nen0
  Replies (32) Good night (11222) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  "I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.

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  (662): "I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again. http://tfl.nu/9nn9
  Replies (25) Good night (1150) Bad night (6550) Order T-Shirt
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning

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  (+64): He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning http://tfl.nu/zdbu
  Replies (52) Good night (1730) Bad night (8047) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.

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  (973): had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home. http://tfl.nu/ffng
  Replies (34) Good night (5920) Bad night (2929) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.

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  (314): Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us. http://tfl.nu/5cyi
  Replies (12) Good night (5762) Bad night (1455) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat

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  (860): I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat http://tfl.nu/ctv0
  Replies (17) Good night (1193) Bad night (4846) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.

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  (256): she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy. http://tfl.nu/z1ta
  Replies (81) Good night (2513) Bad night (8026) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"

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  (617): it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast" http://tfl.nu/sn1x
  Replies (11) Good night (1872) Bad night (2951) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.

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  (248): Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here. http://tfl.nu/bwbb
  Replies (11) Good night (7646) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.

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  (919): I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes. http://tfl.nu/2m3g
  Replies (4) Good night (4167) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

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  (781): the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator http://tfl.nu/8mwn
  Replies (32) Good night (11797) Bad night (1041) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.

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  (203): he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/tskr
  Replies (44) Good night (8190) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.

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  (308): I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose. http://tfl.nu/x4bb
  Replies (38) Good night (1073) Bad night (8944) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"

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  (704): she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out" http://tfl.nu/fktd
  Replies (33) Good night (13055) Bad night (1252) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

  (1-559): View more from California

  That depends on who this is.

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  (559): So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true? (1-559): That depends on who this is. http://tfl.nu/a6jm
  Replies (42) Good night (14393) Bad night (1873) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Previous statement retracted.

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  (864): If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay. (828): Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner (864): Previous statement retracted. http://tfl.nu/e7pe
  Replies (46) Good night (13172) Bad night (1136)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  no, didnt close...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...

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  (508): no, didnt close... (978): What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic... http://tfl.nu/lkpf
  Replies (13) Good night (872) Bad night (5951)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

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  (240): shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich http://tfl.nu/bipz
  Replies (78) Good night (2346) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine

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  (516): doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine http://tfl.nu/5fcf
  Replies (32) Good night (2325) Bad night (7017) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night

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  (203): I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night http://tfl.nu/hkfs
  Replies (43) Good night (9968) Bad night (2908) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets

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  (207): there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets http://tfl.nu/n8se
  Replies (23) Good night (1453) Bad night (8021) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.

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  (310): it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls. http://tfl.nu/2hrl
  Replies (30) Good night (10361) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog

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  (860): Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog http://tfl.nu/fdsx
  Replies (27) Good night (1403) Bad night (7160) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops

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  (907): the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops http://tfl.nu/07bg
  Replies (45) Good night (10352) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.

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  (806): Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting. http://tfl.nu/3kvl
  Replies (26) Good night (896) Bad night (5240) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up in my neighbors garage.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.

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  (931): just woke up in my neighbors garage. (931): scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage. http://tfl.nu/x40j
  Replies (21) Good night (9235) Bad night (1178)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster

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  (484): im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster http://tfl.nu/zma4
  Replies (14) Good night (5210) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'

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  (219): she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs' http://tfl.nu/aa98
  Replies (38) Good night (1216) Bad night (17193) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.

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  (502): I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart. http://tfl.nu/9vpe
  Replies (50) Good night (5922) Bad night (1135) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm like cupid

  (1-818): View more from California

  You're a whore with a bow and arrow

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  (818): I'm like cupid (1-818): You're a whore with a bow and arrow http://tfl.nu/a0h0
  Replies (14) Good night (4925) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.

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  (913): I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago. http://tfl.nu/uh8m
  Replies (35) Good night (13628) Bad night (936) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Are you pooping in the stall next to me?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Maybe....

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.

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  (540): Are you pooping in the stall next to me? (404): Maybe.... (540): Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts. http://tfl.nu/wph3
  Replies (82) Good night (4248) Bad night (5001)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.

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  (732): She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS. http://tfl.nu/97yj
  Replies (85) Good night (8787) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  His little brother walked in on us. Six times.

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  (636): His little brother walked in on us. Six times. http://tfl.nu/ruyk
  Replies (29) Good night (1303) Bad night (8899) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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  (708): so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me. http://tfl.nu/mwnt
  Replies (58) Good night (14232) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up

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  (502): I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up http://tfl.nu/gsij
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

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  (203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7
  Replies (159) Good night (2114) Bad night (35760) Order T-Shirt