Texts From Last Night

TheReRevenger's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail. http://tfl.nu/mxx0
  Replies (15) Good night (6093) Bad night (1754) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers http://tfl.nu/iyv4
  Replies (17) Good night (8497) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride. http://tfl.nu/6akp
  Replies (4) Good night (6591) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college. http://tfl.nu/q0uk
  Replies (12) Good night (7170) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man. http://tfl.nu/ct9i
  Replies (31) Good night (6814) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve. http://tfl.nu/17gc
  Replies (12) Good night (7931) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog http://tfl.nu/x4z4
  Replies (10) Good night (3898) Bad night (996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning. http://tfl.nu/ijln
  Replies (5) Good night (3244) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better? http://tfl.nu/6en9
  Replies (3) Good night (2979) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms. http://tfl.nu/59ye
  Replies (35) Good night (8277) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning. http://tfl.nu/xo3z
  Replies (20) Good night (4989) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN. http://tfl.nu/2o4b
  Replies (33) Good night (14204) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating. http://tfl.nu/umg8
  Replies (34) Good night (17057) Bad night (1405) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning. http://tfl.nu/odgl
  Replies (58) Good night (16164) Bad night (3383)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one? http://tfl.nu/k16y
  Replies (15) Good night (8649) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno http://tfl.nu/ajny
  Replies (12) Good night (3712) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants. http://tfl.nu/xx9d
  Replies (17) Good night (7764) Bad night (882) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  The "puke-towel" started to grow something...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): The "puke-towel" started to grow something... http://tfl.nu/d1rv
  Replies (10) Good night (645) Bad night (4707) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden http://tfl.nu/xsqd
  Replies (14) Good night (5643) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon. http://tfl.nu/t979
  Replies (40) Good night (8288) Bad night (2333)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/7tmi
  Replies (36) Good night (9316) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!" http://tfl.nu/8xfk
  Replies (11) Good night (13038) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky. http://tfl.nu/5xyb
  Replies (31) Good night (14739) Bad night (1573) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name... http://tfl.nu/e8r1
  Replies (18) Good night (851) Bad night (4444) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons." http://tfl.nu/jfl4
  Replies (10) Good night (5126) Bad night (1325) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT. http://tfl.nu/u1ny
  Replies (26) Good night (5338) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already. http://tfl.nu/ugv0
  Replies (7) Good night (3689) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal http://tfl.nu/oaxp
  Replies (35) Good night (1590) Bad night (3960)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today. http://tfl.nu/g96b
  Replies (10) Good night (3313) Bad night (1285) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation. http://tfl.nu/fqo6
  Replies (11) Good night (3489) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game http://tfl.nu/8vak
  Replies (5) Good night (3451) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting. http://tfl.nu/6icw
  Replies (15) Good night (5690) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/ptoy
  Replies (39) Good night (5798) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis. http://tfl.nu/7xur
  Replies (31) Good night (5975) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich http://tfl.nu/k8p8
  Replies (14) Good night (5994) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break http://tfl.nu/u8kr
  Replies (38) Good night (8965) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like. http://tfl.nu/d99s
  Replies (17) Good night (1250) Bad night (5400) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter. http://tfl.nu/2ees
  Replies (26) Good night (1470) Bad night (15963) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?" http://tfl.nu/t9pp
  Replies (7) Good night (4926) Bad night (1277) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does" http://tfl.nu/16y8
  Replies (16) Good night (1702) Bad night (6479) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you." http://tfl.nu/7a3m
  Replies (55) Good night (26458) Bad night (2253) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/s47d
  Replies (13) Good night (6827) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows. http://tfl.nu/pp93
  Replies (15) Good night (6724) Bad night (1793) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed." http://tfl.nu/z9xx
  Replies (11) Good night (6852) Bad night (1349) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I just made Jack Daniels snow cones. http://tfl.nu/ca8x
  Replies (22) Good night (7881) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple http://tfl.nu/1j5u
  Replies (14) Good night (4182) Bad night (1369) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan. http://tfl.nu/jf6q
  Replies (41) Good night (11569) Bad night (1881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis" http://tfl.nu/xzec
  Replies (27) Good night (8220) Bad night (1505) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school

  (1-914): View more from New York

  oh right the one that ends on your bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school (1-914): oh right the one that ends on your bed http://tfl.nu/wrnw
  Replies (8) Good night (6107) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store http://tfl.nu/0ult
  Replies (25) Good night (4608) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (876): View more from Jamaica

  After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (876): After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone http://tfl.nu/ammv
  Replies (32) Good night (8258) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream. http://tfl.nu/rule
  Replies (12) Good night (5158) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her http://tfl.nu/8ahn
  Replies (19) Good night (10947) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately. http://tfl.nu/vwdv
  Replies (9) Good night (5473) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way. http://tfl.nu/jfrt
  Replies (36) Good night (7176) Bad night (1124) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us http://tfl.nu/zfzd
  Replies (28) Good night (5185) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night http://tfl.nu/9u90
  Replies (14) Good night (6178) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you" http://tfl.nu/5pu4
  Replies (18) Good night (5006) Bad night (2308) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail. http://tfl.nu/6ic6
  Replies (43) Good night (6191) Bad night (1479) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking. http://tfl.nu/1cd2
  Replies (13) Good night (3718) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly. http://tfl.nu/a7gl
  Replies (10) Good night (3444) Bad night (1261) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial. http://tfl.nu/jwzw
  Replies (20) Good night (1371) Bad night (6957) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie. http://tfl.nu/eug9
  Replies (20) Good night (5571) Bad night (1555) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  What?

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just dont open the beer drawer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge. (1-352): What? (352): Just dont open the beer drawer. http://tfl.nu/02la
  Replies (16) Good night (1487) Bad night (5593)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny." http://tfl.nu/6v00
  Replies (8) Good night (943) Bad night (5816) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was! http://tfl.nu/nt2c
  Replies (13) Good night (8567) Bad night (1230) Order T-Shirt