Texts From Last Night

chuckwgn22's Favorites Texts:

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...

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  (775): I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral... http://tfl.nu/9wf7
  Replies (28) Good night (5109) Bad night (1361) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.

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  (317): I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me. http://tfl.nu/s4ft
  Replies (36) Good night (6969) Bad night (1352) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.

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  (231): Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward. http://tfl.nu/juz7
  Replies (18) Good night (7066) Bad night (1817) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined

  (714): View more from California

  he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day

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  (714): walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined (714): he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day http://tfl.nu/76ot
  Replies (44) Good night (4633) Bad night (8288)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair

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  (603): Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair http://tfl.nu/7ypz
  Replies (36) Good night (4526) Bad night (1232) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.

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  (908): Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger. http://tfl.nu/ni0e
  Replies (17) Good night (7847) Bad night (1828) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"

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  (757): Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT" http://tfl.nu/x7ms
  Replies (22) Good night (14015) Bad night (1132)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

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  (440): Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried http://tfl.nu/9dr3
  Replies (51) Good night (15120) Bad night (3707) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.

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  (718): You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me. http://tfl.nu/au8t
  Replies (41) Good night (4594) Bad night (1362) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.

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  (706): Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't. http://tfl.nu/ol3k
  Replies (11) Good night (7170) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....

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  (513): She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited.... http://tfl.nu/lzs9
  Replies (16) Good night (5042) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?

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  (503): What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you? http://tfl.nu/o1lb
  Replies (26) Good night (1063) Bad night (5316) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.

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  (917): I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/dm1b
  Replies (44) Good night (1556) Bad night (6568)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

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  (519): i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? http://tfl.nu/08w4
  Replies (101) Good night (33890) Bad night (3562) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.

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  (425): Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy. http://tfl.nu/3fjx
  Replies (19) Good night (3728) Bad night (1090) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.

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  (843): i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job. http://tfl.nu/jeil
  Replies (56) Good night (9862) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?

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  (415): if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays? http://tfl.nu/4fwl
  Replies (26) Good night (861) Bad night (4566) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.

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  (904): i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial. http://tfl.nu/yyq8
  Replies (68) Good night (4278) Bad night (1263) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo

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  (704): Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/ot2w
  Replies (41) Good night (5571) Bad night (1534) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally

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  (207): at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally http://tfl.nu/d50n
  Replies (28) Good night (1537) Bad night (4147) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.

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  (716): you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all. http://tfl.nu/2dp0
  Replies (32) Good night (1806) Bad night (3745)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.

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  (206): I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log. http://tfl.nu/ft0h
  Replies (47) Good night (15046) Bad night (682)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.

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  (315): My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best. http://tfl.nu/ofn0
  Replies (32) Good night (6273) Bad night (744)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?

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  (702): well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right? http://tfl.nu/0mj4
  Replies (56) Good night (1200) Bad night (13436) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.

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  (937): He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face. http://tfl.nu/s86z
  Replies (46) Good night (5909) Bad night (8537) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?

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  (310): do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking? http://tfl.nu/6m2c
  Replies (30) Good night (1954) Bad night (9908) Order T-Shirt
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant

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  (229): College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant http://tfl.nu/1flc
  Replies (67) Good night (5562) Bad night (1520) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."

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  (612): the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear." http://tfl.nu/uaxy
  Replies (19) Good night (9140) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?

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  (410): I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever? http://tfl.nu/67g4
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade

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  (563): Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade http://tfl.nu/sv7y
  Replies (63) Good night (56965) Bad night (1217)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

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  (336): Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her. http://tfl.nu/icjy
  Replies (54) Good night (2473) Bad night (14813) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.

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  (203): We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom. http://tfl.nu/yf2o
  Replies (99) Good night (1678) Bad night (18519) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....

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  (518): it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while.... http://tfl.nu/r6bs
  Replies (26) Good night (5423) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt