Texts From Last Night · FunkMonkey's Favorites

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FunkMonkey's Favorites Texts:

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(205): View more from Alabama

i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.

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(845): View more from New York

What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know

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(949): View more from California

Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.

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(315): View more from New York

why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(719): View more from Colorado

we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower

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(305): View more from Florida

I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.

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